The Unlikely Story of How Semen Retention Sparked Financial Ambitions
Using semen retention to double your money
Enough was enough. While my boss was having a feast and staking cargos of coin, I was paid in pennies and compensated in crumbs.
Shit, it was time for a change. And moments later, finding a “classified” document changed everything.
Here’s how it happened.
While steaming from the summer sunlight and soaking in a tank of sweat, I stepped off the forklift to retrieve the month’s classified documents.
Yes, an entire pallet of invoices and income reports tipped over, went airborne, and floated hot financial secrets in August air.
And without permission, I took a long-awaited peak.
Instantly, my mouth dropped.
- His earnings per month: millions
- My dollars per hour: bare minimum..
Months later, while Youtube-browsing in apartment M-25, I made a life-changing discovery: semen retention.
And then, it was officially on.
- 1st attempt: 4 days
- 2nd attempt: 21 days.
- Post-ejaculation regrets: plenty.
It was only through gaining through retaining and losing by releasing that I saw the significant impact of this semen retention practice.
The journey
In the tedious pursuit of retentive excellence, I relapsed repeatedly. But retrieving those outrages, 7-figure financial reports inspired a new idea: to abandon release, avoid pitfalls of semonic recessions, and deploy the retentive energy towards financial acquisition.
And after ending a long-time, four-year relationship, I got to work. Burning the midnight oil and harnessing the retentive energy in pursuit of financial prosperity.
And after three wonderful years of retaining, my mentor revealed a disturbing truth: that I’ve been leaving loads of money on the table.
Well, I’m done. Fuck the crumbs. It’s time for a feast. Time to double my money.
After all, all retainers should double their money goals.
-Semen Retention Guy
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