*Que “we’re all in this together” — Grad School Edition

*Que we are all in this together grad student remix*

A research apprenticeship is an interesting experience, especially when you have little background knowledge of what that entails. Now, add on a group research apprenticeship, and that is a different story. Yes, I took research methods as an undergrad, but I did not ever learn how to comprehend data and do work like this, and in a media communications class, this was the last thing I expected. So starting off the bat, I was nervous about what I would be able to contribute, although I soon came to realize I think a few of us were in similar boats. At first, this process did not start out smoothly, but in the end, our class was able to come together to resolve past issues and work more as a team to present a complete scholarly article to our Professor. I think I can speak for all my classmates when I say this assignment was very stressful for all of us. However, I am very proud of everyone for getting through this and completing it, even if it was a rocky start. As our professor, Renne Hobbs, says, it’s about “fucking around.” As you read, I will be reflecting on my own role as a collaborator along with the collaboration process as a whole.

As a class, we were asked to work as a collaborative team and develop a complete scholarly article about the Austin Texas Police Department’s (APD) media literacy training. Going into this assignment, I was honestly quite nervous as I was not very familiar with this work and uncertain about the skill set I was going to be able to bring to the table. However, I was very excited to have the opportunity to complete a publishable scholarly article. At the beginning of the semester, our professor, Renne Hobbs, had us complete multiple mini-group activities. These activities helped us learn about each other as a person, gain a better grasp on everyone’s strengths and weaknesses, and see how we can all work as a collaborative. Throughout these activities, we all came from very different knowledge backgrounds, as some were more familiar with the research process than others. We each were about to bring very different skill sets to the table, which is honestly a very beautiful thing when it comes to the collaboration process. Unfortunately, I don’t think we all understood how difficult it would be to come together as a group at first. Truthfully, going into this process, I was not the best group member at first, as I was dealt a very difficult hand of cards when it came to the importance of things that I had going in my life. It was hard for me to manage my expectations along with the expectations of others. I usually set myself to high standards, although this semester, I have been dropping the ball a lot as I have been dealing with very important personal issues in my life that have taken precedence over school. I was struggling with finding a balance and learning how to take care of family, work, compete in my sport, be present in my education, as well as taking care of myself on top of it all. I had a lot of stress regarding “making the right decisions,” but I learned there is no right decision when it comes to life situations, and what is more important is doing what you feel is the best decision at the moment and trying your best to manage it all. It is okay to be forgiving to yourself sometimes when you have a lot of things going on that you can’t control, although this is hard to remember in the moment. With that being said, going into this project, I promised myself that I would not let my group members fall behind.

However, in the first two weeks, I did just that, and I fully owned up to these mistakes. There was a miscommunication on my end as I thought that the task at hand was different than what it was. We have a class of seven people, and I think we each assumed the process would be more smooth sailing than it actually was. Our class was broken up into two separate groups. One group was asked to code data for the pre-test and write the introduction, and the other group was asked to code data for the post-test and write the literature review. I was in the post-test group, and we had two weeks to complete our first task. As a group, we were expected to code data collected from the post-test on our own and have a portion of the literature review written so we could then come together and create a complete literature review comprised of all of our parts. We were asked to write 750 words total for this review, and it was my impression that we were each supposed to write 750 words and have that ready for class. Then we would use class time to discuss our work and put it together. This then caused me to have a setback in my group as we were supposed to each type about 250 words and then put all of our work together and have it ready for class. I completed mine the day of and put it in the document. This resulted in me looking like I did not do any of the work and left my other two group members stressed, as we also had one group member who did not do anything at all for the first two weeks. Before class, I realized I had dropped the ball and instantly knew that I had to own up to this mistake and pull more weight in the coming weeks, so I reached out to my group members to apologize and try to set up times to meet. I wish we all had communicated better in those first two weeks, as I think that was a flaw on all ends because everything was communicated at the very last minute. I often work closer to the deadline, where some of my group members like to get it out of the way as soon as possible. It was hard to balance both of these mindsets, and in the future, I am going to make a point to have better communication of expectations from the beginning rather than just making assumptions.

I went to talk to Renne to tell her I dropped the ball, and this is where she ended up talking to me about the worries of my other group members. My heart dropped, and at first, I thought I would not be able to complete this project because my group would no longer trust me. To overcome this, I made sure to prove my apology and own up to my mistakes by following up with actions. I told my group members I would write the coding scheme sign and finish the rest of the literacy review. After this, everything was all okay, and things started to work more smoothly. However, when the groups combined issues with communication and some members did more work, then others started to arise again. We found that the other group was also having communication problems, and other group members were not completing their portion of the work on time as well. I wanted to ensure that I did not let my whole class down, so I took initiative for myself and told them I would complete the literary review in full as well as take on a few more tasks. I knew multiple of my classmates felt stressed about workload and due dates, so I wanted to ensure I could take some stress off of them as well as prove myself and make up for my first two weeks. I knew that I would not be able to be of help when it came to reading data, so I was honest with the members of my class and asked to take on more of the writing portion. From here on out, I made sure to have my things in on time. I learned a lot about managing the expectations of others as well as those of myself and balancing my priorities. This project taught me a lot about balancing when you have a lot on your plate. I truly did not think I was going to be able to complete this in full and was pround of myself for not only picking up the mess that I made originally but also learning how to work better as a collaborative. It was very hard to prioritize school when my mind was in 50 million other places and directions, so this project really helped me to learn how to sit and hone in on one task or thought and complete that. I also learned how it is sometimes best to take things step by step. I often tend to get overwhelmed and look at the big picture, and this project forced me to break it down step by step, which helped me to finish the tasks I was given. I also appreciated the way that Renne went about giving us this project, as the thought of doing a scholarly article in full alone is very overwhelming, but when it is broken up into step-by-step introductions, it makes it very manageable. I also liked how Renne gave us similar tests and tasks that she put the APD through so we could be more familiar with the work and data we were coding and writing about. The skills and lessons I learned from this process will be crucial for me to implement into my everyday life.

As a group, we lacked communication at first, but it was extremely impressive to see everyone come together at the end and work so coherently. I wonder if it was because we were on crunch time and realized we all had the same goal, and it truly did not matter how we got there at this point; what mattered the most was getting it done. On the last day of class, we all came together, and every individual took part to help work towards the finished product, and it was so nice to see. At first, I was worried that the other members of the group were going to be upset at me and have little trust, and leave me out, but in the end, I am happy that I was able to prove to myself and to them that I could do it, I would do it, I wanted to do it, and I was ready to be a team player. Though the last class was extremely hectic and overwhelming, you could see how we really started to come together as a whole, and I wish we had more time to work on this paper as a class like this during class time because I feel we may have seen a big difference in how work was distributed and how we collaborated. I found it was easier to work together in person than online, and I wonder if that is because we were never on online calls for this class before. Going forward, I am going to take the lessons I have learned with me and ensure that I manage my expectations better and communicate right away with members of my group to get the work done and make it as efficient as possible. I know when collaborating, someone always takes on more work than one person, and I hope that next time I can help to ensure this does not happen and work is more evenly distributed. I know I can’t control others and can only control myself, how I react, and what I can get done.

It is important to have a team when researching because it can not only help to push more information out in a quicker manner but it can also ensure that the information is accurate and concise. It is always helpful to have more than one pair of eyes on anything, especially when it comes to research that is pushed out into a public forum. It is most important because we can all bring together different backgrounds and provide for a better, more cohesive research article. It also helped because people are able to play to their strengths, acknowledge their weaknesses, and possibly gain more strengths by learning from the others around them. Research as a collaborative process is tricky and hard at first, but once you start to get it down and learn the ropes of how to communicate effectively with others and know and trust yourself, it makes the process much more enjoyable. I no longer dread this type of assignment, and for that, I am grateful. Although this project was a bit overwhelming and scary at first, I really do appreciate the process of it all, and I feel very proud of myself and the members of my group for completing what we once thought to be impossible. We truly are all in this together.

I think the most interesting aspect to me was the coding aspect, as I have always read scholarly articles but never fully knew how the data was sourced and what went into it. At first, I thought the coding would be easy, and we would just be rating how we felt about the responses, although once we started, I realized it was so much more than that. It was fascinating to see how different everyone’s answers were and how we were able to come together at the end to put all of our feedback and knowledge together to then come out with a coding scheme in the end. I gained more respect for the research process and researchers after this portion of the project.

I have gained a new perspective on myself, the research process, and the collaborative process as a whole. Not only will I take the lessons I’ve learned with me throughout the rest of my master’s, but I will also take the lessons I’ve learned and carry them with me through my everyday life. I believe they are very important and useful and will help me progress and grow to be the best collaborator I can be and the best person.