Check-ins
making ourselves present
Any conversation tends to start with an introduction. “How are you”? Check-in is about that introduction, a way of ensuring we welcome each person. It creates the space for each participant to be fully seen. It sends the message that our voices are equally welcome.
Check-ins encourage people to settle down together, so information about who we are and what’s important to us trumps listing credentials or achievements. By sharing a bit more of our ourselves, we enable a greater connection between the people present. We share only what is important to us and how we are feeling in the present moment.
Each person gathered takes a turn to speak, ideally volunteering to talk when they are ready. When time is tight, we ask people to take turns following their neighbour or following the prompt of being called by the host for a telephone call.
The degree of sharing of our check-in depends on how much we know the people in the group, our practice on check-ins and how we feel that day. For people who have never met, they are likely to present themselves more broadly (e.g. age, life partner, family status, passions, education, socio-economic situation, charity involvements, religious or political beliefs). For teams who interact more regularly, they are more likely to share what is new in their current life. Depending on the level of intimacy and courage in the group, the practice of check-in adapts itself. The more people can be authentic in the check-in, the more creative and whole encompassing the rest of the meeting will be.
The first person to present oneself is setting the tone for the whole group, even if each person is invited to present herself in her own way. We can ask a person who has done check-ins to go first and set the example of openness.
Everyone HAS to speak in a check-in. Even the more timid ones have to say a word. Even those who are deeply unhappy. Equality is key.
Comments, even positive ones, and questions are not allowed during the check-in so each person shares what they want, no more, no less, without interruption. Once the person is over, their “Thank you” signals that another person can speak without interrupting. It allows to be certain that their silence was not “thinking”. Others can also thank each person who has checked-in. It sets the tone of respect for every person present.
Below are fictitious examples of weak and strong check-ins.
Weak check-in:
Question: Your name and how are you today.
Participant 1: My name is Pei and I am very well today. Thank you.
Participant 2: My name is Sergine I am curious and happy to be here.
Strong check-in:
Question: Your name, and what was on your mind when coming to the venue.
Participant 1: My name is Karim and when coming here I noticed that spring is coming, the flowers are blossoming and this makes me happy after this very cold winter. I am super excited because I’ve just gotten a promotion.
Others: Thank you.
Participant 2: My name is Chao and when coming here, I was thinking about my mother, she was diagnosed yesterday with pancreatic cancer, I don’t know what that means, but I am worried for her. And I feel guilty that I’m relieved to be here, at work, and with you all day.
Others: Thank you.
In a useful check-in people share enough and each person has made herself present in her own way. If something wonderful has happened in our lives that day, we feel joyful unexpectedly, it’s great to share it. And if some deeply worrying news is with us as we turn our attention to the meeting, simply stating that can give everyone space and perspective to be tolerant.
Check-ins call on our ability to be vulnerable, because through our vulnerability, we can have empathy for each other.
They also acknowledge our wholeness. We are not robots, leaving our personal matters at home when we are at work or vice-versa.
When the group is too large to allow for each individual to speak up in the whole group, an intermediary step is helpful: individuals are invited to do a personal check-in in pair, or to journal for themselves. Once this is done, the group check-in can consist of only a word or short sentence and keep its power.
When crafting a check-in, we consider what the situation is, what work is to be done, and what format would achieve this. In some instances, creative formats will be helpful: reading a poem to launch the check-in, using pipe-cleaners or play dough to represent what we want to share, picking a post card, sharing a metaphor or a small object can be more meaningful than many words.
Check-ins are a fabulous practice that can be used for any exchange, face-to-face, telephone, web-conferencing or even letters and emails.
Below are examples of questions you might want to ask in a check-in :
- What were my biggest dreams when I joined this team ?
- What are my current passions ?
- What makes me feel vulnerable ?
These are extracts from Laure le Douarec’s Practical Guide to Collective Intelligence, the art of inter-acting.
