Luxuries that never cross my mind !
A great pair of headphones with fantastic bass.
You can’t live like I do but if you do you’ll be content for life.
There’s a popular disco here in shillong called ‘Déjà vu.’ It’s located in the second major business district and its quite popular amongst the youth.
It was established about twenty years ago and at the time I was a taxi driver. Every evening, the lot of us drivers would park just below the building in a designated taxi stand as we waited for fares. Since alot of the inhabitants of shillong are party animals the crowd would carry on way past midnight. The attendees would generally be middle class young adults and since they were flush with cash we would be happy to drop them home. Every fare meant that we would also receive a good tip for our personalised service. Personalised as in listening to the passengers talk incessantly about nonsense. A thumb rule of mine was simply to agree. If the passenger said that his wife was terrible I’d share my unhappy experience and add that my wife was bossy as well.
If the passenger said that his wife was gold then I’d do the same. Essentially agree with everything. Black is Black and White is White!
I used to do this when I worked as a bartender back in Goa too. I would lend a patient ear and listen all night long to the happy and sad people at my counter. It was fun but it was still work. More so if I wasn’t in a particularly joyful mood myself. Nonetheless I listened to all their stories and I made a lot of friends in the process.
But the discotheque back in shillong is a place that I have never entered. There are also other discos in the central business district that are designed to suit every budget. A few of my fellow taxi drivers have been there and they said that they enjoyed themselves thoroughly.
In the past few years the Taj group of hotels and Mariott have made a grand entrance and have thrown open their doors to Shillong. Almost everyone I know of has been there. People of my income group have gone there just to have a cup of coffee or lemon tea. While there, out comes the smartphone and they’ve clicked a selfie and uploaded it on social media.
I was here on 00. 00. 2024.
We’re having so much fun. Wish you were here!
Baah!!!! And ho hum!
I get it! People want to enjoy themselves. I’ve been in similar situations where I wanted to blow up my entire weeks wage. I admit that I’ve done it several times and they were memorable occasions.
One should spend time travelling and partying at different places in town or abroad. In fact, I consider travel and leisure an investment. It broadens ones horizons and allows us to see the bigger picture.
The thing is that most people can’t wait to hit the pub or discotheque every single weekend. To them, it’s like a religious ceremony that every week should end in a specific way.
That one should attend a party in their finest suits and clothes they seemingly ‘cannot possibly’ afford. Certain exceptions can also be made if the event happens to be a wedding. This means that given the importance of the occasion an individual can go overboard and adorn themselves with more wealth.
Now personally I have lived on both sides of the economic picket fence. As a person, I never really did have a taste for dressing up.
I’m not much of a clothes guy and neither do I have a fetish for shoes. (More on this on a different write up).
I only have one suit! I bought it on the insistence of my mother who had a lower middle class upbringing. ‘Lower middle class,’ as in, enough purchasing power to buy a nice dress and gold plated imitation jewellery. Maybe even a gold ring and a pendant. And a little more money to spare so that she could wear chanel No. 5, Anais Anais, and White Linen on special occasions.
But certainly not enough money to buy a BMW 330i, drive it around and gas it up after passing every alternate fuel station. We belong to the lower middle class and we live amongst the masses.
Almost …
There is one more class which actually comprises of the masses. The blue collar or the working class. I had voluntarily stepped into this class ever since I was growing up. There is a story that explains why I started from the bottom but as a person it is this class that defines me best.
I am exactly where I want to be and above all I’m happy.
And so I don’t have a mega wardrobe with clothes and suits for every occassion.
Instead I have a battle weary CJ3b jeep as a means of transport. I have been wearing the same pair of woodland shoes for over three years now. It isn’t the only pair as I have another nine or ten pairs in storage. They’re all sitting there in the shoe cabinet waiting to be worn; one day!
The last wedding I attended was a comical episode. It was only the third time that I had worn my suit and I realised that I had grown into it a bit. Nevertheless I managed to stuff myself in somehow and didn’t really care how I looked because I rarely talk to any of the guests at these events. Rather, I get the feeling that nobody wants to talk to me for very long.
The reality is that I don’t like going to these ceremonies but for the sake of my family I’m forced to!
At the reception I ran into an old friend of mine. He was recently divorced and had hooked up with a new woman half his age. We started talking about old times and he narrated that he was very pleased with his new unofficial wife. He explained that even though she belonged to the working class they clicked perfectly.
In my mind I thought, ‘well you’ve got the money after all; which young woman wouldn’t want to be with you.’
He was a very sucessful businessman. He had a chain of restaurants around town and a bakery as well. He could afford to travel around the world or buy a new car every month if he wanted to! Instead, he landed up at the wedding dressed like me. He was wearing a suit that didn’t quite fit him and no necktie. I was glad that I wasn’t the only odd one out.
After having some tea he suggested that we go sit in his jeep instead and wait for dinner to be announced. Once outside he immediately questioned, “Do you like sitting in there.”
“No! Actually I was dying to come out for a smoke,” I replied dully.
He motioned towards the crowd in the distance and said in a somewhat sarcastic tone, “those people, that situation, the suits and beautiful dresses, you know what all that is!”
“Umm, what is it?”
“Its fake! All those people in there are fake.”
I readily agreed and besides I was only too pleased that I could finally smoke a Rollie.
I looked at my old friend. We had actually grown up together as our parents were next door neighbours. Even though my friend came from a far wealthier family we had all played football on the expansive lawn outside.‘Their lawn!’ As kids we had rolled on the grass and muddied our clothes.
We grew up like normal kids who were injury-prone and were ready to face the harsh elements of nature.
As I was growing up I had caught a glimpse of what a middle class lifestyle was like. My father tried to condition me to be like the other kids. Disciplined, respectful and well dressed. “You’re not to step outside without formal wear. A white shirt, trousers a belt to match and a pair of clean polished shoes. And don’t forget to smile,” he would say in a commanding voice.
I on the other hand had rebelled in every way possible. I also thought my father had gone mad! I would sneak out to meet my friends dressed in faded blue jeans, a T-shirt and a red bandana tied around my head.
I was far from respectable and as a consequence I easily mingled with the young teenagers of the working class. As I grew up I went on to date and settle down with a sweet girl who came from a blue collar family. For the brief time that we were together our life was hard but I made ends meet. (More on this bitter sweet turn of events on a different write up). And through all that poverty I still squeezed in several holidays where we had fun. Unrestricted, unimaginable, uninhibited fun!
Some of the best times I had were in my twenties. Pure exhilarating Nirvana!
The kind of fun that a middle class individual could never dream of experiencing. In fact they would frequently look down and caution us about the ill effects of whatever we were doing.
And along those lines that was the same thing that my friend at the wedding told me.
“My first wife is crazy. She’s crazy about wealth and the family prestige. Every sunday she would force me to attend some boring get together. More so, if the hosts were important figures in society. And she would make the kids dress up and prevent them from playing outside for fear that they might catch a cold or stain their clothes. I don’t want my kids to grow up in a controlled environment. A place where they can’t play outside and they have to be dressed ‘proper’ all the time.”
“I want my kids to have the same upbringing that we went through Darren. I want them to fall down and get beaten up by the neighbourhood bully. I want them to build up their immune system and learn the art of self defence. Even if they bruise their arm I want them to bleed for a while before they figure out a way to dress the wound with a bit of cotton and a strip of cloth.
I looked at my friend and remembered the last time we went out on a fishing trip. He was dressed in cheap casuals and we travelled in an open top jeep. Yes, his jeep was a Thar which is a more reliable and refined vehicle but it was still a jeep. It didn’t have any air-con, or creature comforts. It was a vehicle equipped with just two bucket seats, a 4 wheel drive train and a steering wheel. We were two old friends on a journey, the wind in our faces and both lost in a sea of thoughts.
My CJ3b jeep is worse. It takes fifteen minutes of tinkering, pumping and praying for it to start. Eversince I got back into the habit of walking I haven’t started old rusty trusty. The vehicle has been in storage for over two years.
As a result I’m saving so much on fuel and maintenance. I have also realised that the city of shillong isn’t really that big. The major market and business district is only 3 kilometres away. I now use the bus service to travel to destinations that are farther away. I travel alongwith most of the working class who don’t even own a car. The only reason why I have a jeep is because it assists me in my farm duties.
I had considered refurbishing my bike back in the city but I’ve scrapped that plan as well. I now feel that the bike is somewhat useless and I only take it out for long rides into the country on days when traffic is lighter.
As a fan of western music I had bought a pair of headphones a year ago. They were a little expensive but they served the purpose effectively. There was a time when I was into hip hop and so I bought a subwoofer system for my other budget car which was also a taxi. In the years that followed that excitement died down and I sold my cab, woofer and all.
I also have a Gillette, 3 blade shaving razor that I received as a birthday gift.
I have probably used it just a few times. It’s because I spent a few years in the coal mines of Borsora which is in the southern tip of our state. That was the place that I learnt to use a straight razor. You know the ones that barbers use! The reason being that there weren’t any modern stores in that mining town and most of civilisation was far away.
Till date I still use the straight razor. Yes, I did cut myself the first time I tried it out. At the end of every shave my face looked like a cat who had come out of the other side of a thorny bush. With practice I managed to master the art and I use the straight razor till date.
I would’ve bought a bicycle ages ago if it weren’t for the fact that shillong is a hilly region with some very steep inclines. But since I now value the freedom of mobility I simply walk to most of my destinations. Since I’m a six footer I find that walking has actually helped me regain my natural posture.
I don’t go to the gym for basic fitness. Back here in shillong I have noticed that a gym is more of a social space where young men hope to mingle with equally youthful women. Instead, I work out in the woods in a neighbourhood which is a 3 kilometre uphill walk. Once there I do a hundred push ups or more and practice some other exercises which I learnt on YouTube. I then drink plenty of fresh water which is sourced from a nearby spring. I do the pushups to maintain my immune system and not for building body mass. (I’ve tried several times in the past but I can’t seem to gain weight where needed and I’m still the tall lanky me). It’s Ridiculous!
Honestly I think I lead a very luxurious life. Once in a while I go trekking to the shillong peak which is 1965 metres above sea level. Frankly I feel that I’ve found the perfect equilibrium between my work and leisure time. I accomplish all of this everyday.
(Well there are some wet foggy days that I skip but you know, we all cheat).
And all it took was one simple decision that helped me discover my newfound happiness and appreciate the world around me.
Quitting alcohol for good, Selling my taxi cab and not using my jeep or bike.
And thus, over the past two years I have slowly but steadily disconnected myself from my addiction to wealth and everything that money can buy. I admit, it was easier for me since I voluntarily chose to live the life of a blue collar in my teens. In fact I went through the same phase as my wealthy friend whom I met at the wedding. During the time that I was making alot of money I ended up buying alot of stuff that I didn’t really need. I was moving in the wrong direction. I didn’t really have a clue as to what I really wanted apart from making more money. Looking back now I can’t believe that I was such a misguided idiot!
It goes to show that humans are creative creatures! As a somewhat negative consequence we are equally susceptible to interesting, materialistic products and services. In addition, we subconsciously allow ourselves to submit to alot of impulse purchases. Most of us have possessions that we never really needed or could easily do without.
It is the reason why most Buddhists spend a few years as monks before they join the mainstream. One of the reasons is so that they can re-emerge as humble human beings.
In contrast, the rest of the world is conditioned towards materialistic gain, validation and success as a primary requirement to live a fulfilling life. Anything less than the perceived benchmark is thought of as an utter failure! For those who do reach a certain goal they bask in the limelight for a while. Shortly thereafter a new objective mysteriously materialises and a new race begins.
Now I’m not going to point out and judge as to which lifestyle is good or bad. The whole reason that humanity has progressed so far is solely because humans are creative. Intrinsic characteristics that are backed in part by greed.
“Greed is good” I recall someone saying in an old movie.
But the point I’m making here is extremely simple for those who decide to choose my way of life. One has to learn to live and manage with the bare necessities. During this time (which could last for a decade or more) an individual has to be absolutely content deep down inside.
I for one can tell you that I sleep like a log every night and have been doing so for the past five years or more. It’s because I have reassessed my lifetime goals and as always I chose to set out on a different path. A path less trodden!
At the end of each day I make it a point to tell myself. Today was a good day. I’m really pleased with the outcome, no matter how awful it might have been. After all it was an experience.
Over the past 3 to 5 years I’ve been living this lifestyle quite merrily. I’m currently living the life I used to live when I was nineteen. That too in Shillong and my frosty village Sohiong which is a paradise in itself! Above all I’m content inside and I no longer dream of any unecessary purchases.
This means that every additional purchase to me is not a necessity but it is in fact a luxury. That is exactly how I live these days. Ground zero and starting from scratch.
There is one extremely important thing to note here. It’s for all of you brave souls who want to replicate my lifestyle and save alot of money while you’re at it.
You have to replicate my life down to the tee and ‘enjoy’ yourself while you’re at it. That way, saving and avoiding unecessary purchases will become your second nature. It isn’t rocket science. It really all boils down to conditioning.
On any given day I can be spotted walking the streets of Shillong dressed in my signature black jeans (slim fit for tall lanky me), a sleeveless grey vest (jockey) and a blue jeans jacket which I bought over a decade ago.
Come winter and I’ll be wearing thermal pants underneath, the summer jacket will be replaced by a winter one and I’ll be wrapped up in a Naga shawl (of Nagaland a neighbouring hill state alongside Burma) for extra warmth.
In this article I have not only given the readers a few tips on savings but I have presented an entire lifestyle. Anything lesser than the way I live would mean that I would be walking around stark naked. That’s not such a good idea because in shillong the winter temperatures drop to minus zero.
To conclude, some people save for the future. Some save for a rainy day while there are a few like me who save for investments. I had started an online kitchen in the city a few months ago and I’m currently running on a razor thin budget. This means that whatever I save not only goes back into the business but a substantial portion of it gets blown into advertising. Now that’s a strict no, no for the majority of the working class but since I’m that kind of a person I continue to do it without a care in the world.
So I now save on fuel and a host of other expenses. The same amount that would have otherwise been utilised for nonsense in my previous life I now blow it into advertising.
Love the word! I blow it and I forget I ever had the money.
I’ll admit, I was a former compulsive gambler too. I also ran a sucessful raffle ticket gaming operation before selling my stake to an employee. These days having long mended ‘some’ of my unholy ways I gamble on odds that are partially in my favour.
Advertisment. It’s like shooting Arrows in the dark. But at least there’s a chance of hitting a few targets while I’m out chopping firewood.
You heard that right. Firewood. I’ll save that for another shorter post.
Like a flash: A thought just crossed my mind.
Will I ever step into the famous ‘Déjà vu club which is about half a mile away from my urban home.
I chuckle to myself as I’m typing this out because we all know the answer.
I’m right where I want to be!
