What Does ‘The Heart of Sensitivity’ Mean for You?
A Gift from the Heart of Sensitivity
A rich inner life
I am excited to share my dear friend, Sue Klassen’s answer to my question, “What does ‘The Heart of Sensitivity’ mean for you?” In her words:
“I am a deeply empathetic person — I have known that from my earliest years. My empathy drew me to the helper role when my youngest sister was born on my fourth birthday. Janet was born paralyzed from the waist down. I naturally moved into the second-mother role, sensing my mom’s need, with four children under five. As an adult, I have been a mathematics and computer science teacher, a family daycare provider, a restorative justice practitioner, and now a registered psychotherapist — all helping roles in which people experience my deep empathy.
It was not until last night, though, when I read Jenara Nerenberg’s Divergent Minds: Thriving in a World That Wasn’t Designed for You, that I dared to call myself a Highly Sensitive Person. Reading Elaine Aron’s checklist, I saw my sensitivity mirrored. I will share a little more about my journey to neurodivergence before celebrating one of its gifts for me.
2024 has allowed me to journey deeper into my identity, with the sense of wonder and awe I feel when I imagine walking into this photo of the winter-clad forest. Both my children were diagnosed with ADHD decades ago as children. For one, the psychologist said they were probably on the autism spectrum. We quickly realized that my spouse, Victor, had ADHD. But we all thought I was the one neurotypical person in the family. Hints to my autistic identity have popped up in recent years, but I did not have resources on presentations of autism that are more common in women until early January when I encountered Dr. Megan Anna Neff’s work on neurodivergence during professional supervision. I now know myself to be a highly sensitive, hyper-empathetic, high-masking autistic woman. This, Neff shows, can explain my strong existential bent. Aron, too, notes that a rich, complex inner life is common to HSPs. It is this trait I would like to celebrate.
More than anyone I know, I wonder Why is there anything? Answers such as God created everything or The Big Bang do not satisfy. I ask, Where did God come from? Where did the elements of the Big Bang come from? My natural response has been wonder and awe at all we cannot know, all that is so beyond our comprehension. I am a natural philosopher.
One of the strong ongoing threads of my inner life is the search for what it takes for people to heal in body, mind, and spirit. I am constantly reading journal articles and ancient wisdom, observing and listening, documenting what I learn, and putting all this intuitively into practice. The whole universe is my text. I see the power in my healing work.
In Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning, his observation that those who survived the horrors of the concentration camp were not the physically robust but those with rich inner lives has stayed with me. Some may see HSPs as vulnerable, but underneath, I see our strength.
I crave, and am learning to hold more space, for solitude, meditation, journaling/reflection and tending friendships with other HSPs.
The richness of my inner life is such a joy. Wonder, delight, curiosity — along with pain and struggle — live here.
I need to pull back from external stimulation to survive, and I quickly burn out when I do not. But I would not trade the rich, complex inner life I have for all the direct engagement the world offers. For me, this rich inner life is one of the greatest gifts of being highly sensitive.”
Sue, what an honour to take in your words on your dynamic, rich inner journey!
I am certain that many people can relate to our empathy, which draws us into the helper role. As you write, “One of the strong ongoing threads of my inner life is the search for what it takes for people to heal in body, mind, and spirit.”
I was struck by the subtitle of Jenara Nerenberg’s book: “Thriving in a world that wasn’t designed for you.” Many of us can also relate to this.
In a recent conversation, you shared with me about Dr. Megan Anna Neff’s work on neurodivergence, which I found fascinating, and I could see these aspects in myself. Thank you for sharing the link to her work so we can learn more.
Knowing you since 2019 and watching your growth and inner process have been a profound pleasure. I am celebrating your “highly sensitive, hyper-empathetic, high-masking autistic woman.” I Am Also Celebrating your natural philosopher and your (and all of our) rich inner life!
I also see our strength as sensitive beings (and “our need to pull back from external stimulation to survive!”). I feel it’s important to celebrate and share our stories and understand others’ experiences and perspectives, which is my goal with this newsletter.
Sue is a registered psychotherapist in Ontario, Canada, and the sole proprietor of Release Restore, helping people release trauma and stress from their bodies and feel restored. She has a special affinity for neurodivergent individuals (ADHD, autism, HSP, …).
You can read more about Sue, her passions and her contributions here.
If you would like to contribute to ‘Sensitive Reflexions’ on Medium or ‘The Heart of Sensitivity’ on Substack, I open-heartedly welcome your important Sensitive voices and experiences! ❤️
