Fertility Journal Week Two: Embodying Yin
I love the concept of yin. ☯️🌊 Since I began Chinese medicine school six years ago, I’ve been on a journey to rediscover my yin nature. Yin, in relation to yang, is the container, it’s stillness, density, intuition, magnetism and it’s the feminine. For most of my life, I’ve been using my yang energy to keep me on task, focused, striving and forward-thinking. I’ve burnt out my yin keeping myself going. But I didn’t know any other way, operating like that was what I thought you were “supposed” to do. I find that to be true for a lot of us.
Now more than ever, I’m looking at how to cultivate my yin in this fertility journey because becoming a mom, from start to finish, draws upon the power of our yin, our primal nature and our comfort level of learning how to BE and not just DO.
This pandemic has forced a lot of us to explore our yin sides of stillness, depth and solitude more deeply. But our yin aspects have long been devalued in mainstream culture. For many of us, we’ve been taught to overlook the yin, we forsake nurturing ourselves, our bodies and our planet in the name of productivity. Because of that we’re not as comfortable in operating in more of the yin dense, lower chakra energies, our shadow or our more primal nature. When I first started experimenting with accessing my yin side, I experienced a lot of discomfort and awkwardness in discovering the wildness of my own body and the earth. I keep gently nudging myself beyond that because every time I do, I access parts of myself that I’ve forgotten or disowned and reclaiming those parts has been deeply nourishing and empowering to my soul.
If you are interested in experimenting with your wildness and yin nature, for me, it started with embodiment. 🎆
Embodiment literally means in touch with the body. Most of us operate in our heads, thinking about what has to be done, how to do it, how to communicate, how to react or respond. This is not to discount the powerful way in which us humans have evolved our thinking, it’s given birth to some amazing advancement but instead to remind us that we are not just our minds, we’re so much more. Our bodies hold keys to being fully alive as a human. If we pay attention to how our bodies receive the attention of another person, or certain foods or our environment or anything at all, we receive so much information in order to guide us to what is in alignment for us. In short, our bodies are our biggest allies.
PRACTICE: Get in touch with your body and it’s wildness. Find a safe space where you can be alone, put on some music of whatever flavor you are feeling and start to shake, shake off that conversation you can’t stop thinking about, shake off that upset, shake off everything you are ready to let go. Then as you begin to feel lighter, start to incorporate dance, in however your body wants to move, let any noises you want out, laugh, cry, just try not to judge yourself. Let yourself move through the process, even if you aren’t feeling it, try to do this for at least 10 minutes. You don’t have to go out and do this in front of other people…unless you want to. This can just be for you to move through your emotions and balance your nervous system. Let me know how it goes!
In this practice, I’m drawing from Peter Levine’s work on trauma and shaking and Mama Gena’s work on swamping. Check them out if you are interested in more.
As you experience what comes up you might notice our bodies store a tremendous amount of unprocessed emotions from our past, we carry our past in our tissues (for more on that check out the book, “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk). Working with our bodies is one, very powerful, way to liberate ourselves from our past. Because the thing about trauma and unprocessed emotions is that they not only block us from the things we don’t want to feel but also block us from everything else. Our unfelt grief, anger or fear block us from fully feeling our other emotions like joy and pleasure. In listening to our body’s expression, letting them be natural and uninhibited within a safe container, we start to let these emotions unfurl. You can try this out on your own by getting quiet and listening to the sensations in your body, become curious, aware, stay non-judgmental and in full of compassion for yourself. It might be useful to work with a Somatic Experiencing practitioner or healthcare practitioner of your choice to learn more about how to work in this way. If you are looking for one, DM me and I’ll see who I can refer to in your area. I’ve learned a lot about regulating our nervous systems through coursework with Kimberley Ann Johnson, she’s a somatic experiencing practitioner, doula and sexological bodyworker. I also work with trauma in my acupuncture and hypnotherapy practice, drawing a lot from my Chinese medicine teachers and mentors along the way.
This kind of presence around embodiment and trauma requires some work, it’s the type of work that is immensely rewarding and valuable but is also highly uncomfortable at times. But I find that it’s the degree to which we can allow discomfort and not abandon ourselves that leads to true, unshakable love and power. I definitely haven’t mastered it yet but I get tastes and glimmers of what it feels like to be in this state. And in terms of fertility, it seems like going through the journey of pregnancy, labor, and postpartum calls on something primal and powerful in women. I love this quote from Clarissa Pinkola Estes to illustrate this point, “The things that women reclaim are often their own voice, their own values, their imagination, their clairvoyance, their stories, their ancient memories. If we go for the deeper, and the darker, and the less known we will touch our bones.”
Jessica Wakeman, L.Ac, CCHT, is an acupuncturist, herbalist and certified clinical hypnotherapist. She is an all around explorer of wellness practices and wisdom traditions.
To learn more about her, visit KinMedicine.com and join her on Facebook or Instagram. You can also sign up for her newsletter to receive new posts and upcoming events.
