7 Reasons Why it’s Important for Every Man to Know His Inner Woman

and how it changes his experience of life …

Lenerd Louw
Sensual: An Erotic Life
6 min readNov 21, 2022

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Alexandru Zdrobău on unsplash

Men,

if you want to feel truly complete, balanced and peaceful inside yourself …
if you want to know more parts of yourself …
if you want to experience more ease and joy with women and understand them better …

… meet and get to know your Inner Woman!

What does that mean?

It means getting to know the parts of yourself that are feminine in their essence and quality. Yes, we all have masculine parts and feminine parts inside ourselves, whether man, woman, or in between. In every woman are masculine parts and qualities, in every man are feminine parts and qualities.

From my journey of getting to know and hanging out with my inner woman, I can say that it added immense value to my life and I experienced massive shifts, insights and healing. It’s been transformational and mind-blowing, to say the least …!

What’s very important to understand in this matter is that knowing your inner woman as a man does NOT mean you lose your masculinity! Ironically, it’s more the opposite: the more you are aware of the polarities inside yourself and awaken your feminine qualities, the stronger your masculine will be.

Let’s go: Here are 7 reasons why I believe that it is important for every man to connect to his inner woman:

  1. Balance
    When the man is connected to his inner feminine, his interactions, creations, and presence is more nuanced and multi-layered because there’s not only maleness present, but also femininity. Through that there is more balance in his being, his work, and his life.
    For me, my clear awareness of the energetic difference between my inner man and inner woman has become an ongoing moving meditation between the expression of my feminine qualities and my masculine qualities in my doing and being. I experience it as an ongoing dance. Whatever life brings me in each moment, I decide whether to meet it with the masculine or feminine energies in my being, depending on which are best suited for any moment or situation. I can experiment with it and play with these polarities. By doing that, I continuously practice how to be more effective in my interactions with the world and others. It’s an ongoing learning process, an ongoing beautiful dance if you will. AND it’s super fun!
  2. Emotional intelligence
    One of my big learnings was around emotions and emotionality. Before connecting with my inner woman, I would simply not get the woman when she was emotional, thinking she was just being silly. I would look at her emotional behaviour with pure rationality, almost cold and would sometimes think: What’s wrong with her?
    This has changed. Through my own journey with my inner feminine, I got to really understand emotion inside myself. Through that, I now have much understanding, patience, and compassion when a woman is emotional around me.
  3. More ease with women
    When the man has a relationship with his inner chick and can really feel and be the woman inside himself, he can feel, see and hear the woman outside himself much more. This positively changes the relationship space with his partner or wife and, generally speaking, with women in his life.
    I noticed in my journey of deeply meeting my inner woman that I felt more and more empathy for the woman personally and the feminine in general, for her individual experience and the collective experience of the feminine. This empathy brings patience and more ease into the space shared with women.
    And, because the feminine and with that receptive quality is activated inside me, I can also better receive and hear the woman. Through that the interactions are more relaxed and the man can learn that sometimes all that’s needed and wanted from the woman is genuine presence and compassion, not more, not less.
  4. Understanding penetration
    Being a woman means knowing how it feels to be penetrated.
    Wow …! That’s all I could say when I, a straight guy, was first penetrated many years ago. I was attending a sexuality workshop and in one of the exercises, I was partnered up with a woman. We were sitting across from each other and took turns energetically penetrating each other without any physical touch. I was surprised to find that when it was her turn to energetically penetrate me, I felt very vulnerable.
    A few days later the workshop turned it up a few notches and in another exercise another woman I was partnered with penetrated me physically by putting her finger into my anus, as part of what was called a Sacred Spot Massage.
    This is when I learned many things! One being … it is a big thing being penetrated! Like … a really big thing.
    I’ll never forget how vulnerable I felt lying there with my legs open. I’ll never forget the reverence and gratitude I felt when prior to penetrating me, she asked me whether I was ready and then asked my permission to enter me.
    I am since so much more aware every time I penetrate a woman — aware of the deep trust and vulnerability on her side. I now know what it is like when someone penetrates you/ your body and I am super grateful and happy for my experience of this!
    I believe that a real relationship with your inner woman and an embodied experience of what it means to be penetrated physically is extremely valuable for a man! It teaches us about the openness and vulnerability of penetration. It teaches us to be open to the world and the woman. Open to her stories and to who she is. Even if a man is not physically penetrated by the woman, he can energetically open himself to be penetrated by her — by her being, her words, and her energy. Allow her to penetrate you, it will change who you are.
  5. Appreciating flow and chaos
    The masculine wants structure and order. The feminine brings flow and chaos. When as a man you are familiar with your inner woman and how she rolls, navigates chaos and allowing for more flow in your life becomes easy and pleasurable. With dropping into my inner feminine I started feeling more comfort and appreciation with chaos and flow. Meaning, I don’t have to know and plan everything ahead, I do not have to know and understand everything all the time, but I can give myself to the wisdom of the flow of life unfolding moment by moment.
  6. Self-care
    The man is able to look after himself much better when in connection with his inner chick. He will not over-exhaust and overwork himself so easily because he’s got a caring and nurturing part inside himself, his inner woman, whose wisdom he can tap into. Through her, he finds resources of slowing down, waiting, caring, and nurturing inside himself.
  7. Complete in yourself
    Last and most important, the most valuable gain from the journey of meeting and hanging out with my inner woman is this: I feel complete inside myself! I feel totally content and fulfilled. There is no part in me that needs the ‘outer’ woman. I still love women and love to hang with them and I still enjoy having a female partner in my life or next to me … but it comes from total inner contentment, not neediness. I want a woman in my life, but I don’t need it. There is so much peace and ease inside myself and how I am in the world.
    This feels very empowering and really is a massive game changer in this whole “Inner Woman Journey”!

Now — the million dollar question may be how the heck do you do this inner chick thing?! Well, that’s a mouth full and a topic for another day and another article. One way to start is to spend time with yourself without the outer feminine, with the intention to connect with your inner chick. You can do things like putting on music and dancing as if no one is watching, moving your body in whatever way it wants to move… in whatever way the chick inside you wants to move. Sing, dance, rejoice… and see what happens. You may just meet her there…

I would love to hear your thoughts on all of this, so leave a comment or feel free to pop me an email at lenerd@lenerdlouw.com or visit me at lenerdlouw.com

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Lenerd Louw
Sensual: An Erotic Life

Award winning author: https://lenerdlouw.com/jump/ Conscious Sexuality. Healthy Masculinity. Men’s sexual health. My calling is sex, my passion is connection.