What really happens when everyone is naked in public?
This is Part I of a two-part series, describing our day at a clothing-optional resort. Part II will be about an evening.
A couple of years ago my husband James and I went to Desire, a clothing-optional couples resort in Mexico. We were actually staying at another property owned by the same company but had the chance to spend both a day and an evening at Desire to see what it was like. We had so much fun, we were planning to go back, but then the pandemic hit, and so we had to postpone our plans. Too bad, because we were really looking forward to some more sexy fun in the sun. We’d taken a class where James learned how to give me a proper yoni massage, and perhaps I’d have the chance to learn how to return the favor.
There are several clothing-optional resorts in the Caribbean that cater to swingers and others in the so-called “lifestyle,” but this was our first experience. Although we’d heard about these places, we honestly didn’t know exactly what to expect because we’d never talked with anyone else who had gone to one, and so all reports were second or third hand. This is why when we got the opportunity to go visit and find out for ourselves, we jumped at the chance.
Our first visit began at about 11 o’clock in the morning. James and I had taken a cab from the hotel we were staying at and arrived ready for an adventure. The friendly staff gave us a full tour of the property, including a briefing about the rules, of which there weren’t too many. Clothing must be worn inside the restaurants or other indoor common areas and no sex in any of the public spaces. Most importantly, “No means no,” and “Do not touch someone else without their permission.” We had no issue with any of these, so James and I popped into the bathrooms to remove our clothing.
Even though everyone else that we had seen who was not staff was naked, except for a few women in nothing but bikini bottoms, it still felt strange to walk out into the bright sunlight of the late morning without any clothes on. As James was emerging from the restrooms he heard someone urgently calling, “Sir, sir…” He said he immediately worried that he was naked in an area he shouldn’t be or had otherwise made some embarrassing blunder, but it turned out that the sir in question wasn’t even him. What a relief…
I elected to start off in a bikini bottom, but eventually down the line did end up taking them off as I became more comfortable in the environment. James and I met up by the bar, and even though it was early to start drinking, we were both on vacation and naked in public so it seemed like a good idea to get something to drink. I ordered an Aperol spritz, a drink I had discovered the night before when I’d asked someone else what they were having. Aperol is an Italian bitter apéritif with a bright orange color, but when combined with some Prosecco and seltzer, it creates a tasty, fizzy, not too alcoholic drink that is easy to sip over a long period of time — perfect for tropical day-drinking.
Part of the bar was accessible in the swimming pool and we found some empty stools in the water and began chatting with some of the other couples nearby. Most of the people there were in their late 30s through late 50s, and there was one large contingent of Germans who had come as a group. Another group who had been playing volleyball on the beach came in to cool off and get some refreshment. So far, it seems like any other all-inclusive resort, except for the fact that there was so much naked skin.
It did take me a few minutes to adjust to seeing so many penises on display since that’s not something I had ever been around before, and all the men were nude, but in short order, it just becomes part of the scenery. One of the Germans had some sort of metal contraption around his dick, a cock cage of some kind perhaps but I couldn’t really tell without staring, so I never did learn for sure. Everyone else looked and seemed pretty typical.
Although there was supposed to be no sexual activity in the public spaces, I did see one woman sitting on the edge of the pool while another woman who was in the water lapped eagerly at her pussy. No one paid them much attention or asked them to stop, and after a while, they weren’t there any longer. I assumed they moved their activity to a room.
James and I had been really enjoying talking to one couple who had been at this resort several times before, but they were just having one last dip before heading to the airport, so after a while, we said goodbye to them and decided to get something to eat. The staff had set up a taco bar on the pool deck in case anyone didn’t want to dress for lunch, but James slipped on some shorts and I put on a cover-up that tied loosely at my breasts and we headed indoors for a slightly more substantial meal.
Although people in the cafe-style restaurant were ostensibly clothed, many of the women, like me, just had on a beach cover-up of some sort, which didn’t necessarily hide a lot. One woman’s cover-up was lace and completely see-through, although technically, she did have something on. Again, no one batted an eye or thought twice about it. As I said earlier, most people were in their late 30s and 40s, with some like us, in our mid-50s. There were a few spectacular bodies, but for the most part, all shapes and sizes were present, most of us looking like real people, and not like swimsuit models.
Once you got over the initial shock of being unclothed out in the bright sun with a bunch of other naked people, it quickly became no big deal. With the exception of the pool-side cunnilingus, for the most part, it wasn’t even a particularly sexual atmosphere, although the social staff did get games of in-pool beer pong going, and the like so it was a party atmosphere. At one point a staff member came by with a bottle of Piña Coladas and asked James if he wanted to do a shot off my breast, which naturally James agreed to. It was fun and sexy to have James slurp a drink off me right there in front of everyone, but again, not really all that scandalous. Everyone else was naked too.
We spent most of the day just hanging out, chatting with various people, sitting in the sun, and enjoying some more drinks. For the bulk of the day, we stayed in the pool, standing waist-deep in the water or sitting at the bar. James and I also participated in an activity along the lines of the Newlywed game where we were asked questions and then had to answer them together on the count of three to see how many answers we got the same.
We were deemed somewhere between adorable and annoying as hell because we answered all but one question exactly alike. I don’t know if it’s because we are actually telepathic or if it’s just that we’ve been together for so long that we just are well in sync, but we’re no fun to play Pictionary with either.
In the later afternoon Lauren and Richard, a lovely couple who were employed by the resort, offered an “art of touch” class. We’d already spent the day naked in public, so my initial inhibitions about that part were addressed. We’d also had a couple of cocktails and that no doubt helped with inhibitions as well. James was game and suddenly the idea of learning the finer points of yoni massage seemed like a great idea. Unfortunately for James, the lingam massage class was on a different day.
We made our way to the darkened room that normally serves as the nightclub and picked out one of the mattresses covered in a white sheet that had been laid around the room. We got undressed again and lay down as the other class participants arrived and found their mattresses also. I don’t really know all that much about tantra, but I do know that it's important to be very present and connect fully with your partner and so this is how we began. Richard started us off with a short meditation, helping us to become present to each other and to send our feelings only with our eyes. Mine brimmed with tears of gratitude and love for the man who has been by my side through thick and thin for so many years as he beamed back at me in return.
Next James and I placed our hands over each other’s hearts and continued to connect even more deeply. A few minutes later the women were told to roll on to their stomachs so that the massage could begin. The first 20 minutes or so was the men being guided to massage us, not in a sexual way and not in a therapeutic way — they were being coached on how to touch in order to communicate and the women were to do nothing but receive that loving touch all along our bodies. It was less about using particular moves and more about connecting with feelings and then attempting to convey those through touch and it was both moving and delicious.
The next 20 minutes were something similar but for the front sides of our bodies. Touch of the yoni (vulva and vagina) was to be restricted to brief, teasing touch at this point — intending to build up anticipation. The women were encouraged to release any shyness and to sigh, moan, touch themselves if they wished, or touch their partner, but only as a way of giving pleasure to themselves. At this point, the women were still the receivers and although reciprocity is a good thing, in this instance we had to simply allow ourselves to receive adoration and loving touch. “You look so beautiful,” James whispered in my ear, as I basked in his attentions.
It was only then, in this heightened state of deep connection that the men were given instructions on actually touching the yoni, which in Sanskrit means “source of life” or “sacred space.” They first asked our permission and then began, stroking first the outer labia, and then slowly moving inwards until they were exploring different areas within the yoni.
By this time, the passionate sounds around the room had become quite a bit more noticeable as each partnered pair became more and more explicitly sexual. Richard and Lauren then told us that the teaching part of the class was concluded and we were free to give and receive as we wished. The couples around the room began making love, in whatever ways called to them in that particular moment. It didn’t feel awkward in the slightest; it didn’t feel wrong or embarrassing in any way to be in a room full of strangers all having sex. We were all simply in the flow of love, tenderness, and erotic human experience and it was really quite beautiful.
James and I had to get dressed and leave before we really wanted to because our day pass was expiring and we needed to get back to our hotel. In the taxi on the way back, we smiled contentedly and held hands, vowing to make more time for that kind of long, slow build-up more often in our busy at-home lives. The entire day was the perfect balance of fun, humor, lightness, and strong emotion, intensity, and passion. We both agreed that we felt more relaxed than at any time in recent memory. It turns out that being naked in public can actually be a lot of fun. A certain kind of person is up for that and seeks it out, and they tend to be friendly and open-minded. At the end of the day, we felt really happy, relaxed, and connected to each other.
When we got back to the hotel, we ask the activities director if we might get another pass to try out Desire at night. Part II, coming soon, is about our evening at this unique resort.
© Copyright Elle Beau 2021
Elle Beau writes on Medium about sex, life, relationships, society, anthropology, spirituality, and love. If this story is appearing anywhere other than Medium.com, it appears without my consent and has been stolen.
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