Marriage, Monogamy and the Nuclear Family Are Not Human Universals
In many cultures, there is no expectation of fidelity or only two parents
In a traditional Canela marriage ceremony, the bride and groom lie down on a mat, arms under each other’s heads, legs entwined. The brother of each partner’s mother then comes forward. He admonishes the bride and her new husband to stay together until the last child is grown, specifically reminding them not to be jealous of each other’s lovers. — Anthropologist, Sarah Blaffer Hrdy (1)
Most people have been taught to believe that monogamous pair-bonding is a relationship style that is valued and practiced world-wide, but that is not remotely so. It is true that marriage of some sort is found in nearly all cultures, but even that is not an absolute. The Na (Mosuo) of China have what are euphemistically called “walking marriages” but that means that the “marriage” lasts for the night or the part of the night that a suitor visits a woman’s room. There is no concept of on-going relationships and each individual’s autonomy is considered to be almost a sacred thing, with jealousy or possessiveness an unacceptable affront to that. If it is displayed, it is met with ridicule and scorn.
All children are raised in the house of their mothers or grandmothers without the…
