Moving From Ejaculation Addiction to a Fulfilling Sex Life
How healthy semen retention can empower you as a man
Men are ejaculating themselves to death. Most expel their precious life juice every day or even a few times a day. Almost all men do this without understanding how much energy they lose and what effects this energy loss has on their bodies and other areas of their lives.
Conscious ejaculation choice can greatly improve one’s sex life, the connection with one’s partner, energy levels, and general quality of life. It also is hugely empowering for the man, who can learn that ejaculation doesn’t just ‘happen to him’, but that he has a choice and can consciously utilize his sexual energy in many different ways.
Some facts on ejaculation
Each ejaculation holds the most potent, the best part of you to create new life! A ‘shot’ of the very essence of your being is expelled through ejaculation and the body has to reproduce this precious life juice, which takes a lot of energy.
On average 300 million sperm cells get ‘thrown out’ with each ejaculation, along with about 200 different proteins and various vitamins and minerals.
We all know about the guy passing out after lovemaking. These are the reasons. It is also called Ejaculation Hangover.
If the man ejaculates often, like daily, he constantly lives in this ejaculation hangover mode and might struggle to feel focused, fresh, energized, and motivated.
Ejaculation Addiction
Most men are addicted to ejaculation and ejaculate too often and too quickly. This causes massive energy loss and leaves their partners unsatisfied. The practice of conscious ejaculation choice changes all of that.
If you’ve never heard of ejaculation addiction, it’s because it’s usually called ‘masturbation addiction’. This term, however, is very misleading: masturbation (or self-pleasuring) is not the problem, over-ejaculation is (ejaculating too often). Yes, this means that you can enjoy long and super sexy self-pleasuring without ejaculating while experiencing almost the same amount of pleasure that ejaculation brings.
Ejaculation is addictive because it feels so awesome and, just like any addictive drug, there’s instant gratification, a ‘hit’ so to say, that comes with ejaculating. Psychologically and physiologically, this is highly addictive.
Ejaculation is widely used as a stress release and as a fix for sleeplessness. It is also abused as an escape from the present moment, the same reason we also use drugs for. This escape can also be used during lovemaking to avoid intimacy and real connection: if it gets too intense, the guy can just ejaculate and it’s over — no more connection or engagement necessary.
Men are exposed to the ‘drug’ of ejaculation from a very young age and often go through decades of being unknowingly addicted to jerking off. That’s partly due to a lack of healthy sex education and the fact that frequent and quick ejaculation is totally normalized and even celebrated and fueled by pornography. Watching porn regularly reinforces the addiction to ejaculation: it’s the main theme in almost every porn scene and further communicates the untruth that ejaculation is the end goal of sexual activity.
Any addiction is disempowering because we’re ‘forced’ to do something to feel ‘better’ for a short time, only to have to do it again and again for that ‘feel good fix’. It appears as if we have no choice and no power.
We can reclaim both, choice and power by moving out of ejaculation addiction to a healthy ejaculation frequency and through the practice of conscious ejaculation choice. Ejaculation does not have to be that ‘thing’ that involuntarily happens to men, we can cultivate a conscious relationship with it and use the otherwise lost energy for other areas in our lives.
Ejaculation Frequency
If this article gives the idea that ejaculation is bad, let me correct that immediately. It is not bad. It’s only unhealthy if it becomes an addiction and that ‘thing’ you cannot be without. It is only unhealthy if men ejaculate too often, constantly losing vital energy and through that compromising their well-being.
Ejaculation is not bad. It is only harmful if it becomes an addiction and gets abused as stress release.
It all comes down to the frequency of ejaculation. This applies to self-pleasuring as well as lovemaking. You do not have to ejaculate each and every time you self-pleasure or make love. Each man will have to find his own personal ejaculation frequency that is correct for his age, health, and general well-being. This could mean, for example, that he extends his ejaculation frequency from, let’s say, every 3 days to once a week, or once every 2–3 weeks.
It is about experimenting with it and finding out what works for you. Stretch your limit a bit so you can see what works and what doesn’t. My personal ejaculation frequency is about 2–3 weeks and I self-pleasure and make love almost daily.
If men regulate the frequency of their ejaculation, they will greatly increase their vitality, relationships, and longevity. Semen retention is an ancient Taoist practice that men used for spiritual and physical advancement.
A fulfilling sex life
The practice of conscious semen retention, or ejaculation choice, will greatly and almost instantly improve your sex life — whether you’re in a relationship or not. That’s because it allows you to make love for much longer, with yourself or your partner.
Men can become much better lovers when practicing conscious ejaculation choice.
When we as men build a conscious relationship with our penis, our sexual energy, and our ejaculation urge, we become much better lovers. Not only can we last for hours in bed — because we’re not ejaculating — but we’re also able to be much more present with our partner and her experience. We don’t ‘run away’ with our ejaculation urge but we can meet the woman deeply and, together, reach and surf beautiful waves of bliss and orgasmic energies. Through ejaculation choice, we can truly satisfy the woman, who takes much longer than the man to reach her orgasmic potential.
Over time, the practice also allows men to have orgasms without ejaculating and become multi-orgasmic. This brings the man’s sexual experience to a whole new level, adding great depth and new nuances of pleasure.
(I chose not go into detail here about ‘orgasm without ejaculation’, but there will be more articles on this to follow).
A deeper heart connection between you and your partner is another possible result of conscious semen retention. That’s because the man can really be present with the woman, as he is not running off with his own orgasm-urge but plays with his edge while being fully present with his partner.
A deeper heart connection between you and your partner is another possible result of conscious semen retention.
Another reason for increased depth of connection is the length of the lovemaking session. The man does not end the session after 10–15 minutes with ejaculation, he does not go after some end goal but can travel deeply into various states of bliss and orgasms together with his partner(s).
Good news: men do not have to live in a disempowering dependency of ejaculation addiction. We have the power and choice to instead build a conscious relationship with our sexual life force and our ejaculation urge, transforming both into powerful tools of personal, spiritual, and sexual development. We do not have to constantly throw our precious semen away but can experience the great increase in energy that follows healthy semen retention.
Note: This story is about heterosexual sex but the same principles could apply to any man of any sexuality.
