Schedule Naked Cuddling Time With Your Partner
To solve your lack of desire
I recently read a wonderful article by the sexologist Gigi Engle in Men’s Health about mismatched sexual-response styles. Some people are easily aroused. They think about sex a lot. They’re ready to go with the smallest stimulus.
For others, arousal takes longer. For these people, Engle writes, “Sex is kind of like a treat that comes out of the right circumstances. In sum: if you’re in the right headspace, desire can manifest.”
A lot of us have the former sexual-response style when we first meet a new lover. We’re ready for sex all the time. We’re clawing off each other’s clothes. We’re always jumping into bed together because we always feel turned on.
As the years go by, though, the flame of passion burns less brightly. For some, it fades altogether.
The problem is, this may happen for only one partner. The other partner continues to maintain a “ready now” sexual-response style.
Engle points to the terms coined by relationship coach Dr. Patricia Love — sexy-body and sexy-mind — to describe the difference between each sexual-response style. Having a “sexy-body” means a person is always ready for sex. Having a “sexy-mind” means they need much more of a build-up to feel sexually primed.
