Sexy—It’s Not Just an Adjective
Pondering the erotic, the difference between the visual and the cerebral, and what it means to be ‘sexy’
Of course I think you’re sexy. You have great tits—and a nice ass!
When these words came out of my (now ex-) husband’s mouth, was when I realized that he has absolutely no idea what sexy means — never did, and probably never will.
He slung the line back at me during our last argument as a couple; one where we both laid out all the hurt and pain we’d experienced over the years together.
— I didn’t really feel seen by you, I told him, and I don’t think you ever recognized me as a sexual being. Do you even see me as ‘sexy’?
I had always felt this energy strongly within. I remembered how vivid and alive that side of me had been before him and I settled into a steady relationship in our twenties. After I understood that he wasn’t tuned in — neither to mine nor his own sexual energy — I tried to awaken him to it, but to no avail. His lack of response had left me feeling undesirable, at least in his eyes. There are only so many times, and ways, you can try to serenade and seduce someone who won’t spare you as much as a glance before you give up, retract into your shell, and start…
