Stop Demanding That Women Validate You
And then being angry when they won’t
I see an awful lot of men complaining about women who reject their interest or romantic advances. Although I understand that nobody is excited to learn that someone they like doesn’t feel the same way, it seems to often be taken to heart more than is necessary or warranted — and that’s a problem — both for men and for women. Too many men receive a woman’s lack of reciprocal interest as if it were a kind of referendum on them as human beings, instead of an individual woman not feeling a spark, for whatever reason, with an individual man.
It’s gotten so bad that women are being spat on, have had drinks poured on them, and are even sometimes killed for refusing a man’s interest in her. As Jessica Valenti points out here, “There’s a reason that women give out fake phone numbers or invent boyfriends — we’ve learned that our own lack of interest in someone is not a valid enough reason to say no. Plus, we never know how angry a rejected man is going to get. Angry enough to send a cruel text or call us a bitch? Or angry enough to hurt us?”
Men need to stop demanding that women validate them and then being furious at women if they won’t. It’s an all-around toxic dynamic that is bad for everyone and it needs to stop.
