A minute-by-minute breakdown of my spin class.

0–3 minutes

Whoo! Alriiiight! Feeling good, pumped, ENERGIZED! This isn’t so bad! Got my legs movin’, feeling refreshed… Plus the studio feels like a club: Mood lighting, thumpin’ EDM music, sweaty attractive people.

Can’t believe I thought this was gonna suck! I got this!

3–9 minutes

K… Still… feeling good. Yeah! [Wipes face with towel] I said, YEAH! Still totally… totally pumped up. Man that music’s loud. But… I dig it. It’s… it’s… I dig it. Just keep pedaling, keep pedaling.

Oh, what’s this about the spin instructor shouting “Get ready for a big push!” Why is she telling us to increase our bike’s resistance by a lot and start pedaling faster…

9–9:30 minutes

AGDSLGAFJDLADSGAJDADSFSADF! WHAT IS HAPPENING MY BODY IS SHUTTING DOWN WHY WHY WHY WHY DID I EVER DECIDE THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA WHAT EVER COMPELLED ME TO VOLUNTARILY PAY MONEY TO DO THIS WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME I NEED TO RE-EVALUATE SOME THINGS EVERYTHING HURTS EVERYTHING IS SWEATY EVERYTHING IS LIKE BEING PADDLED BY AN ARMY OF TINY PING PONG PLAYERS MAKE IT STOPP GOD

Hassan S. Ali
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4 min
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18 cards

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