Aim High š
I am not particularly ambitious, probably because I harbour a lot of fears.
Getting to where I am now in my career (iām part of middle management) was not an easy journey. Apart from the requisite hard work and competence, I managed with mental conditioning, concocted bravery and lots of preparation.
My āwinning momentsā (e.g. that successful interview for new job or promotion) are surreal, with words seeming to magically form in my mind which translate into witty, straight-from-the-heart answers ā normally the product of visualisation before the actual event. Yes, iām one of those who seat on the toilet pep-talking the self prior to a stressful event.
I did not know fear such as stage fright as a young girl. I was very active in extracurricular activities, even joining beauty contests. Then I grew older and realised I was not typical pretty (I am petite and morena) nor very smart. I won contests and awards, yes, but I was content not to be the best.
I know thereās nothing wrong with that. At the end of the day, we measure our āsuccessā from what gives us that buzz of fulfilment and joy.
But I also know (and feel) that somehow, thereās something wrong with holding back just because I fear embarrassment or rejection or failure. And I keep waiting to grow up, to finally find the courage and wisdom to overcome my fears, to be nonchalant of people and society and delimiting norms. But that āsomedayā has not come. Iām still here waiting.
I donāt want to wait anymore.
Iām the worst critic of myself and since this series is supposed to help me write my (better, brighter, braver) future, allow me to look back to my āwinning momentsā and the ātechniquesā iāve employed to āget thereā. Plus, the lessons iāve learned in hindsight aka the things I know now.
Technique no. 1: The power of repeated words (and thoughts).
While reviewing for the board exams to be a Certified Public Accountant (CPA), I made it a morning ritual to write and read aloud to myself - āI am going to be a CPA.ā
It worked, I successfully passed and was even part of top 20. Of course, it was coupled with hard work, focused efforts and lots of available reference materials from my supportive parents.
Looking back though, I think I would have done better if I had the audacity to join the special class (for the review topnotchers) and interact with the reviewers. I mostly kept to my circle and had my head buried in the books and review materials.
Technique no. 2: Preparation is Key.
At a time when auditors where in demand abroad, I had the chance to get interviewed for a job in Australia. I failed because I was too cocky to prepare or at least organise my thoughts. It was a fad for young professionals then and since my peers were being hired by the dozen, I assumed I would be too. Wrong.
So the next time I got the chance for an interview, I prepared my introduction about myself and my STARs (Situation, Task, Action and Results) ā specific examples of what I had accomplished and contributed to my job. I made it to Dublin, Ireland.
Then I failed on the job itself. Which in hindsight is (probably) because audit is not really my interest. That, and because I had a ātouristā mindset. I got my goal (of landing the job) and I did not have concrete plans after that.
This technique also worked for my subsequent job interviews, particularly for my current job where I am an AVP. Though technique no. 3 (below) helped a lot, too.
Technique no. 3: Visualisation and the power of the subconscious mind.
Even before I learned about Napoleon Hill or read his popular book āThink and Grow Richā, Iāve always had a thing for visualisation (probably because I have a wild and vivid imagination). Iām a creative at heart. I like making up stories in my head and conjuring poems from words, at least when I was younger.
I would normally practice in front of a mirror or sit in a toilet stall prior to an interview or a speech and visualise myself being confident and doing well. I would still have the jitters at the start of each event but I always lose them and start enjoying the process.
Visualisation has helped me moved forward but my insecurities and subconscious bias and prejudices have held me back in a number of areas. I need rewiring and thatās the journey I embark on as I write this series.
I know now, itās not enough to be smart or competent, I have to be self-possessed too.
What is the lesson that I can learn from this situation that can help me to be happier and more successful in the future?
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