What I’m learning by walking, observing, and making
January 2017. I was completely losing the plot, despite everything seeming to be going my way with a growing business, interesting work, and a full and happy house of a loving family. I was full of anxiety, doubt, and my confidence in myself had really gone downhill.
It was the start of the year I had dubbed “The Year of Janna”. My intention at the time was that I would start taking back time for myself to do activities that I loved (or would grow to love). It was about doing things that I wanted, for myself, rather than for anyone else. At its simplest, giving myself some space to just be.
Sounded great! So why was I losing it rather than rejoicing in my new-found focus?
I was lost, sitting in suffering of my own making, out of touch with my feelings, and I could no longer ignore it. Lack of a hobby was far from being my problem. The Year of Janna necessarily took on a whole new meaning.
Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.
Maya Angelou
I had an entire story in my head that had painted me into a victim of and responder to circumstance rather than a maker of my own future.
When people would ask me how I was, I would intellectually describe it as this:
I am busy. I am on the caboose of a train, holding on for dear life, body flailing in the wind as the train barrels down the track.
Read “What I’m learning by walking, observing, and making” on a larger screen, or in the Medium app!
