how to speak with a mouth full of arsenic

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the eclipse of 1943

if November doesn’t suffocate me, December surely will

I know this because I’ve hated every month that has ever passed in the same way that I hate every part of me that has ever been given away

in the same way, in November’s way

But for now I take comfort in the black above,

even if I can’t see it dissolve into spectrums the way I used to

I watch cathedrals burst into tears around me and feel the pull of nothing

except hunger, and sleep

My vocabulary scrambles too much, runs off with muddled diction so eventually

Eventually

there’s no words left, no language beyond sound so,

I try and pretend that I can speak to him in volumes of books I never read

shut up shelby·
2 min
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