Lottery Tickets
Friends, I rarely buy a lottery ticket. Once every year or so I’ll buy a couple just for entertainment’s sake. And then I never check the numbers. Anyway, I just want you all to know, my wonderful friends and family, if I win, I will be extremely generous. To myself. So suck it, friends! And you too, world! It’s all about me, my team of plastic surgeons, and frying myself brown on an island somewhere. I plan to ditch you all as soon as may be. Wish me luck!
I cannot stress this enough. If you win the lottery, remember I think the world of you, otherwise, I wouldn’t have you as my social media friend, aka stranger. Also remember that if I win, you are dead to me, peasant.
I am pretty sure I didn’t win the big powerball jackpot tonight. Mostly because I didn’t buy a ticket.
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