Part-Time Pastor
2 Things At Once
“What hat are you wearing right now?”
My friend, fellow church member, and co-worker was looking at me inquisitively across the high-top bistro table. We were amidst lunch at a bustling market down the street from our shared church and workshop. We were grabbing lunch to discuss some of her concerns at work. I was addressing some concerns I had for her.
The conversation meandered. It began with her concerns about changes in our company. She had no idea why we’d made these changes. Many of the complexities of running a small but growing company hadn’t dawned on her. We were amidst some particular challenges that she didn’t know about and didn’t necessarily need to.
I was trying to respond by gently alerting her to some complexities she wasn’t aware of. I also wondered why the strong reaction and asked about that. It’s not as simple as telling an employee “no” in this situation. This employee is also a friend. More than a friend, this employee is a “sister in Christ.” I know a lot of her story and want to know more.
I pastor a church and own a small furniture shop in the same neighborhood. I live about ten minutes away from both. Few interactions have a single layer. My clients usually know I’m a pastor. Two of my workers are members of my church. Sometimes a client surprises me with a spiritual question. Sometimes what feels like a work meeting takes on an extra layer of spiritual meaning.
I have been a pastor part-time for about six years now. The truth is though…that the lines between being a pastor and a small business owner are not so clear cut. Often when I think I’m not pastoring, I am. As this series continues I plan to share reflections back on my years experiencing this unique pattern of ministry. As new experiences come I’ll share them too.
I know there a lot of us part-timers out there. I hope my stories can be an encouragement. I hope to remind us all that the challenges of doing non-traditional things that fuel ministry forward are worth it. Follow along and please share your stories with me!
4 Conversations Before Lunch
Do you ever sit back and consider what’s at stake in a given conversation? Have you ever reflected on an ill timed word with regret?
In just one day, between the hours of 7am and 1pm no less…I had four conversations that all required a different level of consideration. Often being a pastor slash business owner feels like an exercise in shifting gears. I’ve concluded that this is good.
Pastors face a certain set of complicated scenarios in which things can go awry. A counselee may feel misunderstood. A co-minister may feel that the business of the church is taking too high a priority and that the spiritual concerns are being minimized. An inquirer may want to drill down on exactly what you and your church are all about. The list goes on of course.
Business owners face similar scenarios, but often with their own special twists. A conversation about your business may include a critique of your work or product. Inevitably, a conversation about your business includes some element that impacts your profit margin. A business has so many moving parts and involves so many critical processes. To run a business requires either mastery of many domains or the development of a team that can fill in all the gaps.
I do both. I run a small custom furniture company, a small retail store, and I co-pastor a small church. Consider the complexities of these four conversations and then I’ll tell you why I think these complexities are a gift.
The day I have in mind was particularly complex. It began with a meeting over breakfast in which big picture questions about the business were the order of business. We were short thousands of dollars due to an unpaid invoice. We needed to discuss details about our roles in the company. The people in the company all matter to me. None of them feel at all disposable or less valuable. The conversation felt critical and complicated, but it went well. I’m grateful for other highly invested and dependable comrades.
My second big conversation was one in which the prices of our product became a contentious issue. I find myself in constant tension between the needs of my employees, the costs of running a business, and our desire to provide a fair price. This conversation turned very sour because I felt the need to express that costs would rise if project details changed. The client I was talking to felt that I was price gouging at first. We had to slow the conversation down and try to come to an understanding. I felt that a lot was at stake and had to bite my tongue, as everything in me wanted to return insult with insult.
My third interaction was one in which my role as a pastor and business owner felt extremely tied together. A lot of people in my church know that I understand how to build and fix things and they call on me for help or advice. In this case a beloved church member was buying a new house. I couldn’t wait to see it, and was also aware that they might want my company to make some furniture for it. I wanted to make sure I was there as a supportive friend and minister, but also had to keep on my business hat and pay attention to the material details in the house.
Lastly, over lunch, I met with a new attendee of the church for the first time. My day had already been so full and such a roller coaster. I wasn’t sure where he was at that day or what he needed. I learned a lot about his journey and share some of mine with him. I hope the conversation was what he was hoping for. Choosing a church to put down roots in is such a big decision for folks. These are the people you’ll decide to trust and let into your life. This is especially true in a small relational church like ours! So much rides on these early interactions. I can point to many folks at our church who decided to return because of one connecting point they experienced in an early conversation.
Sound like too much going on? Mind you, this was just one morning. I still had a half day ahead of me. I hadn’t even started writing my sermon.
Here’s why I think my experience is usually good. Conversations like these fuel the writing of my sermons. The people of our church are living complex lives too. Few of them have the luxury of living in a ministry bubble. They have to run businesses, meet employers expectations, navigate tricky conversations, make money, and balance relationships that have begun through some secular endeavor but have potential to include some kind of spiritual layer. When I show to church on Sunday, I don’t come from a week in a church office. I don’t come from hours of sitting before my Bible. I have to fit Bible reading in, just like our other folks. Sometimes I read a passage right after a tense business phone call. Sometimes I have to pray while I’m driving because I really don’t know how to navigate what’s next.
The people of my church have complex lives. I do too. I am called to ministry. The people of my church are too. At our church, we don’t invite our people to come to a ministry hub where they get served. We invite people to accept the grace of God so they become empowered for the mission that God has for them. They will live this out in their homes after work. They will live this out in the middle of a project at their company. They will live integrated lives in which there is no sacred secular divide. I live that kind of life too. It’s not easy, but I think it helps me to really be their pastor.
1 Thing I Should Have Done Sooner
I am the type of person you’d expect to get myself into part-time pastoring or bivocationalism or whatever you want to call it. I’ve always figured out ways to get the money I needed or do the cool thing I wanted to do. I’ve never been too risk averse when it comes to these sorts of things. I’ll avoid bodily pain, but stress was never something I tried to get out of.
I guess that lack of stress aversion partially explains my willingness to start a church with eight people in my neighbors’ back yard while simultaneously starting a small business. People tend to praise me for my ability to organize myself and get a lot done. I tend to view myself as pretty good at managing it all.
My whole team at church, including myself, was surprised when we compared Talent Today test results and I bottomed out on stress management. One kind co-worker took issue with the test and assured me that I was great at managing the stress I faced. As I looked at my graph though…it dawned on me. I handle stress, but I don’t manage it. I deal with it, but I don’t ward it off.
This year something changed for the better. As an entrepreneurial guy, behind initiatives of my own design, I didn’t build in space for refreshement and peace. This year I joined a denomination and it’s missions agency. One of the best gifts this agency has given me thus far has been the encouragement and funding to get away.
Last month I joined several other go-get-’em type pastors for 3 days of relative silence, 36 hours of which were a “grand silence”. We were flown far away from the temptations to work back home and planted among the Trappist monks at the Abbey of the Genesee in upstate New York. The scenery itself encouraged peaceful reflection. I found myself open to the prompting of God’s Spirit in ways I often don’t experience. I sang aloud as the sun rose over a field of geese. I prayed aloud for people who had lied about me and done me harm. I memorized a Psalm that continues to speak deeply to the longings of my soul.
I am so grateful for the gift of a silent retreat and for all the folks that made it possible. I only wish I hadn’t waited so long to build this in. The truth is though…that I couldn’t do it alone. I don’t yet possess the discipline that leads one into silence or the resources to justify the expense. If I could go back, I’d look for a network of support sooner. I wouldn’t just look for support for the work I wanted to do, but support that would lead me into the care of my own soul that I didn’t naturally want to do.
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