Some things I’ve learned in a couple decades of dating

There are many times when planning a first date with someone feels exciting and like a great idea at the time. But when the actual day arrives, you find yourself wanting to cancel said date because you don’t really feel like going and meeting a person in-real-life for the first time after a long day of work or just trying to live, and you reason that if you were to cancel, you’d probably go through the rest of the day with a lower level of angst than you’re currently experiencing — which is often very appealing and comforting.

Condoms feel and smell terrible (adding another scent to the already semi-strange sex funk) and definitely take away from sexual sensation, but they’re also great for many obvious reasons. A less-obvious one is that after having sex with one and checking to ensure it didn’t rip during the act, you’ll be able to move on with your life sans semi-frequent panic attacks where you think you may have accidentally impregnated a woman or contracted a chronic STD. It’s important to try and keep this in mind in the moment, because a month or so of worry more than negates the brief better feeling of skin-on-skin fucking. Sex is still sex, even if you rock a rubber, you know.

If you don’t feel like going on a date, then don’t go on that date. There are too many things in life we have to do that we don’t really feel like doing, and dating isn’t one of them. If you’re not excited to go out with someone, just don’t do it. There’s really nothing wrong with going home at the end of the workday and drinking boxed wine on your couch while you watch Netflix (unless you’re one of those people who views drinking alone and/or the concept of boxed wine as “something wrong”). I mean, what are the odds this person is going to be “The One” anyway? Pretty slim, probably.

Scott Muska
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15 min
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60 cards

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