The First 30 Days

Second-nature First

Why do we say something is second-nature when we do it subconsciously, without thought? If something is automatic, shouldn’t it be first-nature? Maybe that’s because anything that is “second-nature” is something that our bodies do naturally, or something that we think while we’re on autopilot, after years of practicing the act. What’s more familiar is fear. That’s first-nature. Fear of the “other,” fear of the unknown. That fear protected us from danger and kept our ancestors alive. It’s in our DNA.

As humans fortunate enough to read Medium, we don’t have to feel that way today. We have the privilege of leisure time. We have the amazing opportunity to create. In the past few months, I’ve learned more about the self than I ever imagined I could. I’ve begun to stop seeking permission before I do things and I’m retraining my mind to think positively and create on a constant basis. This series is part of that.

For the next thirty days, I want to commit to creating through writing.

I want to develop a writing voice and remember that I can break the rules. I also want to use it as a tool to remember the change in my thoughts during this period of time, so some posts may sound more self-centered than others. The key point I want to make to myself here is that there’s no teacher grading this. I can swear, suck shit, and fuck up here and there. And I can prove to myself that I can commit to something creative. Oh, and hopefully I will learn some lessons along the way.

When to get an adjustment

Sometimes you just need to lay on a table and have your back cracked. No, seriously. Call up a chiropractor and get your spine in alignment.

I had to get one because, well, my insides are all messed up. Yes, that has more than one meaning. My hips twist one way, my lower back the other. But help from an experienced professional always gets me back on track. My inner voice is messed up too, and I’m bad at faking it. Which means that anyone who has the misfortune of stepping in my way right now will encounter an extremely confused, babbling individual.

What I’ve found is that you usually need to ask for help long before symptoms arrive. The other day when someone asked me what I wanted to do for work, I blurted out a paragraph-long answer that was far too detailed for anyone (including myself) to follow. We can never say for sure if we’re on the right path, but when we adjust, our insides do too, and they know stuff we don’t. They tell us the things we don’t consciously know, and the closer we get with our insides, the more attuned we become to what they have to say.

To Be Expected

Everyone has desires. And those desires translate into expectations. What happens when they don’t get met? We are sad with the outcome of our lives.

How do we find happiness? By not expecting anything? If we don’t expect anything, then how do we move forward, if not driven by desires or by fear?

God damnit.

Mia Hagerty·
38 min
32 cards

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