Reclaiming Creativity
North Carolina is a wonderful place, don’t get me wrong. Especially if you can ignore the voter suppression and gerrymandering and myriad of other social problems. Talking shit about North Carolina is something I feel entitled to do, because I had to suffer through it for 18 years. However, anytime anyone else talks shit about North Carolina, I bristle. It’s like your parents. You can talk shit about your parents, but anytime your friend adds on, the gloves come off. All this to say, creativity through STEM was not something I felt compelled or encouraged to follow. Games were also a big no from my hometown.
So how did I end up here, in CS377G, learning how to design ‘serious’ games, with two of the most incredible people? Honestly, an e-mail dropped into my inbox and I decided to take a leap on a class that “waived the prereqs”. I had practically slept through my other Tuesday-Thursday class (shout out to you, Biostatistics). Showing up on the first class, we started out with a game called Flux and I fell in love with the class. For the first two hours, I tried to keep my mouth shut, shifting nervously in my seat and scratching my neck. Finally, Christina asked a question my extroverted-ness simply couldn’t refuse and my hand shot up quicker than I could process. Her graciousness and truly warm demeanor helped me settle in when my initial inclination was to get tight and anxious.
Although I would’ve loved to continue the smaller game elements that kind of dropped off towards the end of the course, the first six weeks of board games and fun and fellowship absolutely knocked me off of my feet. The atmosphere Christina and Kesler created by allowing for play within the classroom organically lent itself to an easy-going, warm environment where fucking up was not only allowed, but encouraged. Christina remarked a few times that our class was special. And I don’t doubt that it was. That we were a special group, the right group of 16 to take this fledgling class. But, I would be remiss to ignore the care and attention to detail/ environment that y’all imbued into the different corners of this class.
Throughout the class, I worked on projects with groups of people I found fascinating, brilliant, and generous. After my first group and I split prototyping for different types of cards, I sent them a Microsoft word document. My teammates showed me how to design on Sketch and totally changed my perspective on design. Design always felt like a foreign concept that required many classes and complicated technology, but Abdallah and Lulu sat with me and taught me the basics so I could start my own design journey. I used Sketch again in my final project and saw the progression in my abilities from beginning to end.
When we first incorporated sketchnoting, I was extremely skeptical. How could drawing information be any better than rote memorization of the words? Better put, how could I have been so dumb at the beginning of this quarter? It seemed cheesy, but I internalized the information much better by drawing it, sketching it, taking the time to get interested in how to creatively represent information.
The readings engaged me from my narrative abilities to strategy mechanics, how to write concise rules and the philosophies behind fun. They were perfect for someone who is looking to build a wide array of tools beyond the technical skills required to make a pretty game in Unity. They were difficult readings, gritty, frustrating and well-written. They were paced well throughout the anticipated level of completion- the rules reading came at a perfect time during playtesting when we realized that the rules weren’t cutting it. And I loved that Kesler interacted with my Sketchnotes, letting me know that he was reading them, offering encouragement. Huge shoutout to you, my dude.
This winter break, I’m making it a goal to sketch out a game and try to code an app! I’ve never done it before but I’m excited to try and dig my teeth into something new (on top of all the game internships I just applied to). I’m excited to try things on my own and get messy. I’ll miss having Kesler and Christina (tbh and Abdallah and Lulu too) on my shoulder every Tuesday and Thursday, ready to help a curious girl out. I’m thrilled to see where it will take me and hopefully work for an indie studio that focuses on narrative games, maybe even level design, maybe even PRODUCT MANAGEMENT OR UX. Words I’d never thought I would write before this moment.
So who knows? I’ve downloaded all the readings and internalized every Sketchnoting process. I’ve searched up indie game platforms. All there’s left to do is play and sketch and create and throw away and continue. If a weird, kinda funny but mostly loud North Carolina gal like me can thrive in CS377G, I wonder what else I could do with these skills in my back pocket.
