Geese Eye

Being a kid is hard

Mikey Hamm
May 18, 2017 · 2 min read
Image for post
Image for post

“Oh my goodness what happened to you?”

“It’s nothing, it’s nothing, don’t worry.”

“Nothing! Come on! Look at you. I’ll get you some ice.”

“I don’t need ice, mom.”

“Well you’re getting some. And you’re going to tell me what happened.”

“It was just horseplay.”

“Like Heef it was just horseplay. How much ice do you want.”

“I don’t want any ice mom, it was just horseplay. I’m fine. He’s fine. Everyone’s fine.”

“Who. Who’s fine? Who did this to you.”

“Mom, don’t. It doesn’t matter. I don’t need you to do anything. I don’t want you to talk to them or talk to me or give me ice. Zazer Beam is starting, I just want to go to my room and watch Zazer Beam.”

“Them? THEM? You listen to me. Zazer Beam can wait. I didn’t spend 400 dollars baby-proofing this house only for you to grow up and get your perfect face mangled by some gang. I love you my boy and you’re still a kid and you’re still MY kid and I’m still you’re mother so we’re going to sit down, we’re gonna put some ice on that, and talk about this.”

“Fine. I’ll tell you. Okay. It was Steven Bucking and–”

“And the Ice?”

“Fine I’ll take the ice!”

“We’re out of ice you’re getting frozen peas.”

“Fine. It was Steven Bucking and Stacy C and they had this dare–”

“I wish your father would fill the blasted trays once in his life.”

“Mom.”

“Sorry. Go on. Stacy C.”

“And they had this dare–”

“Did Stacy C’s mom, what’s her name again?”

“Mom!”

“What’s her name?”

“Mrs. C.”

“Right, did Mrs. C used to work at the bank?”

“I don’t know, mom! I don’t know. Do you want to know what happened or not!”

“Sorry.”

“Okay. Sorry. Anyways. The board flew up, hit me right in the geese, knocked them all out cold, now they’re fine, just a little swollen, I’ll be more carful, I love you, thanks for the peas, I’m going to watch Zazer Beam.”

“I love you, too. Come give me a kiss.“

“Fine.”

“She hasn’t been at the bank lately.”

“Mom!”

Sermon Monsters

I draw monsters during church and then write stories about…

Mikey Hamm

Written by

Psionic crocodiles, 80s-style horror, and teens with rayguns. Written and illustrated by me. www.mikeyhamm.com

Sermon Monsters

I draw monsters during church and then write stories about them.

Mikey Hamm

Written by

Psionic crocodiles, 80s-style horror, and teens with rayguns. Written and illustrated by me. www.mikeyhamm.com

Sermon Monsters

I draw monsters during church and then write stories about them.

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