The Centrist Shopping Catalogue
We all know the smartest answer is that both extremes are bad and the truth is in the middle! Give your off-centre woes the heave-ho with our newest lines!
Hurry hurry hurry, sale must end so rush right on down and see our latest stocks with no obligation! Chic dynamic imports at WHOLESALE prices while stocks last! Satisfaction guaranteed!
No more South-Paws vs. Righties for you! NOSE PEN lets you show the way for those silly-billies! Nose on down, now! Available at all major stationers. RRP $9.99.
France? Wisconsin? Ontario? England? It doesn’t matter with NEITHER-POD Motors and their revolutionary FUTURA WHEEL LEGS! In any country, you can now cruise on down the central reservation like a responsible driver should! RRP $46,000. Call your showroom for more details. Ride the Center, baby!
Shucks, why can’t lefty and righty just get along? They’re SO STUBBORN, they’ll only wear a shoe that fits them! Well, say goodbye to that headache with NOT-RIGHT/NOT-LEFT identi-shoes! Each pair is made up of an identical not-right-and-not-left shoe, so you can stuff your tootsies right on in with no more squabbles! Important note: extended periods of use can cause skeletal deformities. Available at all good shoe stores, RRP $29.99!
Gosh, we had to call the Sheriff out again when the Johnsons and the Hamptons got into another shoot-out during the prawn cocktails about the shape of the Earth! If only there was an answer! Well, now there is: with a CUBE of the EARTH you can say “arrivederci” to FLAT-EARTHER and ROUND-EARTHER arguments! Available in-store at House of Moople and through our mail-order catalogue! RRP $42.99.
