As he sits…
With furrowed eyebrows he sits, starring at his work. As days have turned to weeks and weeks to months, he wonders if it makes a difference. He wonders if he makes a difference. “Is it worth it?” he asks. Knowing the correct answer is a resounding, “yes,” he keeps plugging away. With thoughts flying through his brain, he tries to narrow his focus.
“Imposter syndrome or imposter?”
“Successful or average?”
“Loved or hated?”
With each passing thought he shakes his head in disgust. “Why do they matter?” He continually asks himself. “Why even think about them?” He knows it’s up to him to make a difference. He knows it’s his opinion that counts. Why worry about others thoughts or actions?
“Focus and spend your time on what you can control” he whispers to himself.
Back to the proverbial grindstone he goes. With many distractions at his disposal, he finds himself in a battle to accomplish those tasks of meaning. He finds there is a constant tug-of-war happening within himself. On one side there is “now.” On the other, he has “future.” Both make valid points and both are certain to spout out their reasoning yet both are very difficult to satisfy.
As he removes himself from his head and looks at his body sitting, slouched with rolled shoulders and a lazy head, he begins to see things a bit more clearly. In that moment he evaluates what he has done in the past and looks to where it has taken him. He then looks to where he wants to go and sees that things must change. In that moment, he no longer feels a tug-of-war but instead he realizes it comes down to one simple question: “Do I do what is easy or what is necessary?”
As he hurriedly returns his conscious mind to his unconscious self, he knows what he must do.
