“Don’t be sorry, Just don’t do it.”
-Richard A. Hendricks
On May 7th, 2006 my father passed away. As most people say about the deceased, he was the best person I knew. He was a disabled vet due to the Gulf War. He, and everyone else in his unit, was diagnosed with leukemia upon his return home. Beyond that, I don’t know much else about my dad’s stint in the army. The truth is, we never discussed it. Ever. Now I do know my dad wasn’t happy about what happened, as you could imagine, and focusing on the past wasn’t going to rid him of his health issues any quicker. So with that, we simply let it be and focused on what was to come not what has happened.
Although my dad had some bad luck, he was the luckiest of all he returned with. From my understanding, he lived the longest of everyone in his unti. We were fortunate to share more than a dozen more years with him, despite much of that time being overnights in comfy hospital chairs. (Comfy is a relative term.) Those years, well, as I stated in yesterday’s story, I wouln’t trade them for the world. Overnights in the hospital, holidays there too, all led to us being a closer family. Who cried and laughed together (mostly laughed) because that is what helped us make it through the tough times. And still, I wouldn’t change it.
Several months back, my sister and I were hanging out and discussing dad. With tears in our eyes we shared our hatred towards his passing. But in that conversation we were able to see just how fortunate we were. -Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take my dad back any day now- Yet, it was his illness that allowed me to share with him more than most people share with a spouse of 30+ years. The same goes for the rest of my family too. With no job to report to, dad could be there in the morning to see us off on the bus. He would be there in the afternoon when we returned home from school. With no weekends or holidays to work, dad never missed the important events. Nope, he was ALWAYS there for us!
We were fortunate to have him as our sports coach. He helped us learn the proper ways of baseball and showed us some wrestling techniques as well. He was a great Monday morning quarterback, as they say, but in a good way. Despite this, he never showed me the way in golf which is why I still throw clubs and my balls when I play. He taught me how to work a lawn mower, how to use the grill. He drug me along for early morning naps in the tree stand (I think he was hunting deer or something) plus much, much more. He never missed an event. He was there for sports, boyscouts, detentions, arguments, fights, movie night, graduation and anything else that happened. He was a jokester who would hit me in the head with a gallon of milk on his way to returning to the fridge simply to let me know he was there (and I think he was telling me he loved me). Because of our time together, because of his love for his family and because of his dedication to giving us a better life than he had, I was able to learn from him and grow.
The passing of Prince a couple weeks back made me think of those who I respect the most and who have influenced me the way he influenced so many others too. Needless to say, my dad is one of the most influential people in my life. I think about him most days and increasingly at this time each year. Although some of that can be attributed to this being the month he passed away, more is revolved around baseball season and our trips to Wrigley field. Spring is the season of new life and that’s what my dad breathes into me when I think about our time together. Thanks dad!
Now before I end this, I have to tell one great story.
One day, my two brothers, my sister and me got into some trouble. (At least I think it was all of us, my childhood was kind of a blur because my brothers beat on me a lot.) I don’t know what we did but I remember my dad screaming my name as though it had two syllables. It went something like this, “se-ETH.” I always knew I messed up when he pronounce my name that way. In any case though, I still retain that whatever happened that day was NOT my fault!
Anyway, this little mix up just happened to be in the middle of the day which was prime napping time for the big guy. With the disturbance of his perfect children, he became upset and summonsed all of us to a separate room on the main floor of the house. My big brother immediately snagged a bedroom, the next biggest chose another bed room and my sister snagged the living room. This meant I was left to suffer in the hallway with a folding chair and TV tray for my lunch. However, the joke was on them as I had more fire exits! So yeah, take that Rikki, Tanner and Jessica.
As we all began to get comfy, cozy in our short term prison, I heard an eery creak echoing down the hallway. As I looked up from my TV tray, which was supporting some sort of delicious lunch, I saw my dad’s head peak out from his bedroom. He then said, “psst” followed by a head nod waiving me down. I smiled from ear to ear, grabbed my lunch (duh- I don’t waste food) and scampered down the hallway. Dad and I hung out and watched TV in his room while the others suffered in silence by themselves! Of all the lessons I have learned, that day my dad taught me the most important one of them all. Through one simple, small act he confirmed what I knew all along. He love me more than the rest of them! So yeah, take that too Rikki, Tanner and Jessica!
Sincerely,
Seth
