I tried and I failed

But here’s what I learned along the way

A little over a month ago, I got this idea to go on a bike trip. A long bike trip. And when I say bike, I mean bicycle. At the time this grandiose idea plopped into my brain, I hadn’t biked more than a mile in over a decade. On top of that, I don’t believe I ever biked more than a few miles at once (with one exception in high school when I biked 18 miles for the fun of it one day- completely random). Knowing that and knowing that I in no way advocate long distance sports for myself, I’m not certain why, out of nowhere, I wanted to go for a long bike ride but the fact of that matter is, I did. The thought came to mind and for some reason I just wanted to do it. From there, I immediately started biking and planning.

Within days of conjuring up this idea, I dusted off a bike that was gifted to me close to 5 years ago and started riding. My wife, being the supportive person she was, did the same with hers and tagged along as well. On top of that, I was able to borrow a baby toting bike trailer from a close friend who is a bike enthusiast and just like that we had ourselves a little family bike ride. Obviously with baby in tow and this being our inaugural ride, we weren’t going to push the envelope too far. We were going to ride as long as we could before Camille started crying or until we were tired. As time passed, we circled some neighborhoods, conquered a few small hills, avoided any busy streets and rolled into our garage just as we had exited short time earlier. In a sneakily hurried fashion, I shuffled upstairs, pulled up google maps (I now use Strava- kind of) and mapped our route. Now in my mind I knew the distance traveled was minute in the grand scheme of things but I was hoping for roughly 10 miles. I clicked and pointed and dragged and clicked and pointed, mapping each turn as closely as possibly. I circled the neighborhoods, scoured the hills we recently defeated and rolled my mouse back to our house with ease. As I starred at the final pin on the map which covered our modest abode, I knew I had some work to do- it read four (4). Vier. Cuatro. Quatre. No matter which language you say it in, we had traveled only four miles! Oh well, discouraged I was not. It gave me a nice biomarker to start with and allowed me to set focus on training. So the next day, I was off again! My beginning training goal was simple, each time I found myself in the saddle, bike five miles further than previously.

Within that first week I ramped up my rides from 4 miles, to 9, then to 13, then 27. Still not overly impressive but a start. By the end of the first week, I had pinpointed a destination and date for my first cycling trop. I now had an exact target for which I was aiming: July 1st, 2016- Green Bay, Wisconsin. The trip totaled roughly 275 miles and seemed to be just the right distance for a two day trip but again, I knew I needed to get my training going- so I ramped it up. I had my short term goals in sight which included several 30+ mile rides, one 50+ mile ride and one century all to be completed within two weeks. While setting out day after day on these trips, I would spend my nights trying to figure out what equipment I needed to make it a bit easier on me. I started chatting with an uncle, yes, the one whom gifted me the bike, and Alicia, the owner of Seven Spokes Bike Shop in Saint Paul, MN. I also checked some online resources, chatted and with a couple of friends and threw in my two cents as well. Within a short period of time and with a very small amount of money spent, I was able to look like I knew what I was doing and, for the most part, I was ready for my trip. With only a few tweaks and a very small amount last minute shopping, d-day was upon me so I packed by panniers and headed east.

Miles 1–49.4

At first, as is anyone when starting a new journey, I was loving it! Outside of having a bird literally attack me, I was loving the ride. I was loving the weather. I was loving the stroke of each pedal. I was all smiles. At this point, I had the route down. I knew each turn by heart and could tell you the street names I was traveling. Despite the gentle breeze, everything was flowing smoothly. I couldn’t have asked for a better start to my trip.

Miles 49.5–84

The next 25 miles were a bit more difficult as I passed up an opportunity to eat. At roughly mile 49.5, I was starting to get some rumbling in my stomach. Now, I did have snacks and salmon packed but I was planning on stopping to eat somewhere to rest a bit before continuing on. As I passed through the small town of, well, I don’t know what the town’s name was, I decided I didn’t want to stop at the bar and eat and continued on. I looked ahead and noticed there was a town just 5 miles up the road with a small restaurant. I set my sights on The Eagles Nest, and continued east. As I approached small town Wisconsin #2, I quickly realized I had made a mistake. Not only was the restaurant closed (or at least it appeared to be), the bars in this town were much worse and didn’t do much for my appetite. I traveled on. By the time the 84th mile rolled on by, I had been biking for nearly 7+ hours or so. I wasn’t breaking any world records but I was moving along slowly but surely.

Mile 85

Finally, food!

Miles 86–125

Looking back, this is where I should have found a camp site. I had my site picked out near the 145 mile mark but in retrospect, that was a bit too far and put too much strain on the ride, but I’ll get to that. As I worked my way through these 40 miles or so, I saw my day slipping by. I saw the sun beginning to set. I saw the hands on the clock moving so fast, it was as if they were waving at me. My speed wasn’t necessarily dipping but I didn’t know this portion of my route as much and it began to show. I had a couple redirects and turnarounds. None were too much to overcome but just enough to add an extra 5 minutes here and 10 minutes there to my ride. For my next ride, this mileage range is my daily limit for sanity and enjoyment purposes. My body was doing well (with the exception of knee pain- again, I’ll get to that) but my psyche was slipping and frustration was starting to kick in. Early on in this section of the ride, I decided to keep my camera in the bag and only focus on riding, not recording. It didn’t matter…

Miles 126–135

Disbelief. Frustration. Mixed with a few bouts of adrenaline and speed bursts.

Until now, I have provided a brief overview of the ride. It really wasn’t bad at all with the exception of traveling a bit slower than expected. The weather was nice, the views were beautiful, and the exercise was an added bonus. The next portion, however, well that’s where things get interesting and life taught me a lesson or two.

Miles 136–151

“If everything were going as planned, I would already be relaxing in my tent while gazing up at the stars on a peaceful evening in middle-of-nowhere Wisconsin.” This, or a variation thereof, was something that kept crawling through my head. I couldn’t help but think of how I should not be where I am. I should not be in the middle of a country road as night is falling. I should not be endangering my life while drunks travel up and down these country roads cruising past a silly cyclist with a few red flashy lights. I should not be here. This mindset coupled with the realization that camp was still hours away was wearing on me. It was breaking me down.

Every now and again, I would build up my energy and add 6–7 mph to my speed but this didn’t appear to be sustainable. It was after 10 PM, I had only eaten one solid meal throughout the day while snacking on Lara Bars and smoked salmon all washed down with camelback stored H2O. I wasn’t finding myself hungry but I was under-fueled and losing because of it. As 9 turned to 9:30 then quickly to 10:30, I threw out my travel plans and decided to say the hell with the best bike routes, I’m heading straight for my destination. This was one of the worst decisions I made.

Before I knew it, I found myself on gravel roads with a street bike. Not only was I incapable of increasing my speed, I was also incapable of going in a straight line. With every seemingly small rock or peddle, my bike was pushed to the side like a younger sibling standing first in line for food. “This isn’t happening.” I thought to myself. After traveling for what seemed like a dozen miles on the unpaved roads in northern Wisconsin, I pulled out my phone and searched for a rescue. I looked ahead and found what appeared to be a busier road which was guaranteed to be paved, so I headed straight forward. As I came across that intersection, my jaw hit the ground in disbelief when I found it was more gravel. “Ok, now what?” I thought. Well, like anyone in my position, I pulled out my phone and found another road which had to be paved. With hope and nothing more, I pedaled north and turned east to find another gravel road. With the metaphorical shovel in hand, I continued east in hopes of better roads ahead. With periodic glimpses of my map, I turned south, then east, then north, then east and by the time I was finished, I quickly realized I did nothing more than zig zag my way to where I would have ended up had I gone straight. I felt like Sarah from the Labyrinth.

It’s hard to convey the feeling in words but these were the toughest miles traveled. I was more than demoralized and nearly defeated. Several times I wanted to call for a ride or simply just quit. I wanted to press the “game over” button or wake up from the bad dream but that wasn’t an option. There was no “start over,” there was nothing to wake up from. I was smack dab in the middle of nowhere with nothing but me to get out of there. It was scary. I was scared. Legitimately scared.

The roads I was traveling were gravel with overgrown hedges. There was a street sign that I couldn’t read because the trees had engulfed it years prior to my ill-advised passing. With the exception of the small head lamp mounted to my handle bars and the diamonds sparkling in the sky, it was hard to tell the difference between having my eyes open and having them closed. The night was black. With that being said, I wasn’t truly able to pinpoint my fear. Knowing I was in the middle of nowhere, the chances of me coming across someone, sane or otherwise, felt to be slim. Although animals (coyotes) could have been out to get me, I felt I would have been just as intimidating to them with the loud grumbles of rocks shooting out from under my tires and lights flashing. But regardless, I was afraid.

During these few miles, I couldn’t help but think back to the cliches: “my life past before my eyes” or “before death, you only think about what matters most” or, well, you get the point. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to overdramatize my 2 hours of feeling eery. I am not saying I was near death or anything to that effect. But I am saying that for a short period of time, I couldn’t help but think about nothing more than my daughter and wife. I couldn’t help but use them as motivation to spin that crank arm in one more half circle. Literally, no matter what I tried to think about, a snap shot of Camille kept returning to my mind. If I were an artist, I could have drawn the exact photo from memory and still could today. From what I can remember of feelings that have flooded my body, despite having half a dozen surgeries performed on my body, despite the car accidents, the fist fights, a shooting, broken bones and the like. Despite all of that, I cannot think of time where I was more fearful, scared and nervous as I was that evening. For some reason, partially illogical, partially practical, I was ready to fall apart. On top of this, and in true “scary movie” form, my phone’s battery was running low and phone service was nothing more than a myth. Yeah, it was less than ideal.

After finding my way out of the slew of unpaved roads and what I can only imagine to be untaxed residents of northern Wisconsin, I found hope again. At this point it was in the form of a neon sign. I knew it was a bad idea but I was desperate. With that, I slowed down and made a pit stop. And wouldn’t you know it, service! I was able to pull up a map and find that I was only miles from a nearby town. Off I went.

With fingers crossed and a slouched posture I worked my way down roads that felt like clouds. It was a little give and take though. While aimlessly traveling about the gravel roads, the only thing close to hitting me was a few bugs. On these finer paved roads I was subject to much larger objects such as Jimmy Bob out for a booze cruise at 12:00 AM. Oh well, it was a risk worth taking at this point. As I crested a hill, I peered to the north and couldn’t help but notice an array of lights and a small strip of side by side, single story rooms. I never thought I’d be so happy to find a motel. With a crooked eyebrow, I slowly enter what I was hoping was my last stop for the night only to find out, I pulled into a private business in which the rooms I was wishing to occupy belonged to traveling employees. Like turning grapes to wine, I was crushed. I immediately couldn’t help but think back to one a scene from The Hunger Games. It was when President Snow asked the head games-maker, “why don’t we just line them all up and shoot them?” … He went on to explain that hope is the only thing greater than fear. I knew exactly what he was talking about. With my head nearly resting on my handle bars and shoulders only being help in place due to bone structure, my night resumed.

Miles 152–155

After 20 more minutes or so of biking through the dark night, I once again found myself in the highest of hopes; I found a town. However, as I entered this small village, I couldn’t help but notice their population sign only held 4 numbers in which the first was “1.” I knew what to expect. And then, all hope was restored. As I glanced to my left I saw an SUV stealthy parked under an oak tree on the edge of a church parking lot. On the side read, “POLICE”. Knowing where I was and that it was still 2 hours from bar time, I was certain the officer had nothing better to do than to help a cyclist who is running a mere 3 hours behind schedule. As my sneaky detective instincts tickled my stomach, I approached, asked, and received a ride to the nearest hotel! Although this was only 4 miles away, at the rate I was traveling that would have been another 35 minutes at least. As we pulled into the Abby Inn, I hopped out of the back seat, unload my bike, reassembled it well enough to roll it into my hotel room, and thank the officer. She headed on her way and I on mine. Finally, rest!!

Mile 156

As I opened the outside doors, of the hotel, I went from cloud 9 to gravel road. The front desk was empty and locked with a cage and the inside doors were locked. This place was not serviced 24 hours.**** is the only word I could think of. I suppose the “help wanted” lettering on the front sign should have been a warning. Yet again, I find myself clinging to a thread of hope. As I slap my wheels back in place, get the chain back on the sprockets, and reattach my bags to the racks, I use what bit of battery I have left to find a hotel not much more than a mile south. I make the call, confirm their open and availability and with one more minor hiccup (I forgot to reconnect my brakes- oops), I make it to an overpriced hotel for the evening. With that being said, I would have paid 3 times as much had they asked.

After a long warm shower and plenty of water, I finally laid my head down to sleep. All-in-all I traveled over 156 miles, biked over 152 of them, traveled from 8:30 AM until 12:30 AM in which nearly 14 of those hours were spent pedaling my bike. It was a rough day but I learned a lot.

Day 2

On Saturday I was still set on finishing my trip. With only 125 miles to go, I knew I could do it. The routes were on better roads. I was heading back into civilization. And I had the finish line in sight. With a new attitude, I packed up and headed out. The first 7.5 miles were great! I was moving at a decent speed, the weather was better than yesterday and I had all day to complete my task. Then mile 8 hit. To step back a bit, I didn’t do much training in preparation for this. I touched on it earlier but all in all I biked roughly 250 miles. Throughout those miles, I never once had any knee pain. NONE! Which is why I was most frustrated and discouraged when I found myself in excruciating knee pain… in both knees. I literally could not press down or pull up on the pedals without shooting pains in my knees. It was so bad that my travel speed plummeted to 6.4 MPH and I found myself coasting on downhills rather to give my knees a rest rather than pedaling to see how fast I could go and how far I could ride that momentum. After another 10 or so miles, I knew I had to call it.

At that point, I was still over 100 miles away from my end destination. It wasn’t something that was “just up the road” nor was it a pain that was lightening up. It was tough for me to do because I had come so far but I knew if I would have tried to finished, I would have ruined much more than one trip. Not only would my knees have taken a lot of unneeded stress but my back was in for it as well. As my knee pain worsened, I found myself slouching and twisting trying to find any position that would alleviate the pain. It didn’t work. I broke down physically and psychologically. I called my wife and 2 hours later, after only 23 miles of biking on day 2, I officially failed, falling roughly 100 miles short of my goal.

What I learned

Clearly this wasn’t a complete failure. I learned a lot! From day 1 when I biked 4 miles to week 4 when I bike 2 centuries in one week, I learned. I learned that biking so closely mirrors life, it’s insane. Check it out:

1. In biking, as in life, the work you put in directly relates to the success you receive. If you are moping along and mashing the pedals rather than driving through each stroke and pulling hard on the back side, you will waste a lot of time and energy for poor results. The same applies in life. It’s not about the hours you put into our work, it’s the work you put into your hours. I am not certain who said that, but I like it.
2. In biking, as in life, tools matter. Going into this I was lucky enough to have family and friends lend advice and provide equipment to help me along. Believe me when I say, riding a BMX bike with a back pack may have increased the difficulty a notch. In life, surround yourself with the best tools available to give yourself the best chance possible to succeed.
3. In biking, as in life, you can go at it alone or you can bring others along for support. Whether you are riding solo, tandem, or with a group you can succeed — what works best for you? Some people are better off working by themselves. They don’t get along with people, they can’t communicate well, and they plainly want to be left alone. Others need the interaction, guidance, and help of others to succeed.
4. In biking, as in life, planning is essential. Going with the flow will only work for so long. Having your route mapped out and understanding why it is set as so, is important. Shortcuts aren’t real. In life, plan your future and understand why you want to be there. With an understanding of why, you won’t venture off the path you created. You will hold true to what you have set before you and you will reach your goals much sooner and with more vigor.
5. In biking, as in life, there are ups and downs. If you want to conquer the hills, you must work harder. Some people stand, some people sit, but the successful people will figure out how to get to the top. When things are going well, it’s easy to coast. Heck, without doing any work at all you will still pick up speed. But if you want that to last and want the work you put in to reap the most benefits, then even when things are going great and you are cruising down a hill at 40 MPH, you must still work.

I realize this is quite lengthy and if you made it this far, pat yourself on the back. I appreciate you staying tuned in for so long and now have one thing to ask of you. I want you to try something new this year. Try something that excites and scares you. You still have nearly half the year to think and plan but the warmer weather is disappearing faster than the sun on my first night of riding so don’t delay too long! If you care to share, I would love to hear what you decided to do and what you learned from it.

Thanks again for reading and if you found value in this or enjoyed it even the least bit, please show me so by clicking the heart below.