Money and Depression and Life Changes Need to happen

Like most people I know, I am living either over-budget, or under-funded. Sadly since I know I make okay money, it’s most likely the over-budget part of it.

Very recently, I was cleaning my house in a very ADHD, last minute way before my girlfriend arrived for our weekend together. I took a moment to open my mail, and found more bills pouring in. I also made the mistake (not really a mistake) of checking my bank account, only to find that my funding until the next paycheck was dwindling dangerously low.

That feeling, the sinking sensation deep in the gut that all the fun things you would like to do, is no longer available. Also the regret that the spending from the past week was possibly out of the range of where I should have been. Was it the coffee shop? Was it the two times I bought lunch instead of packing food for work? Was it the cans of craft beer I used to relax my nerves after those long workdays? Is it the credit card bills that call out to me in my nightmares? All of the above, plus my gym membership, my Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, and other memberships.

That was yesterday. Last night, once my girlfriend came over, she pointed out that I probably hadn’t eaten ( she was right) we had dinner and talked and the funk of financial disparity started to lift from the moment.

So today, here I sit thinking about what to do next.

How radical do I want to take these next steps? Thinking about all the ways I can and can’t cut costs there are a few options that come to mind.

First: I need to examine the things I really can’t stop paying. My mortgage is one of those. For the time being I’m not ready to live in my car. Not knocking van-life, it’s just not in my game plan right now. My electric bill is also good to pay, since I need to run the heat and have lights to avoid stubbing my toes walking through the house.

In reality I’m not looking at these fixed expenses as items to control. I’m looking at them as things I need to track and understand. I never formed a proper budget and in order to do so I really need to map out all the things that are musts. I’ll use this information then to build the budget and plan I need to see how much is leftover for fun things and fun times.

…I’ve got to do this NOW!

Second: I could focus on earning more money. I’ve tried this before. I’m rather crafty, I have the tools to make stuff to sell online or on Etsy. But I already work a 45 to 50 hour a week management job.

Of course, I’m also on here (Medium) with the hopes of gathering enough of a following to eventually become monetized. (Please clap and subscribe folks!)

… This is something I should do. I might need accountability to do so.

Third: I could eliminate all those subscription fees. The online viewing options are many. Sadly there is at least one show on each service that I am invested in finishing the season.

Should I go scorched earth and unsubscribe from all of them? I would have more time to read, and I am sitting on a huge pile of books that I keep buying with the best intentions of being that person who is well read.

Or should I go a step beyond scorched earth, blow up the whole damn thing, and cancel my expensive internet provider payment? This would easily free up over a hundred bucks a month. And maybe I’d get other stuff done instead of dealing with non-stop distractions. I still have the internet through my phone service, so I wouldn’t be back in the Stone Age.

… This is a strong maybe.