Unpacking Men’s Thoughts on Pegging
Uncovering the Truth Behind Men & Pegging: 10,000 Views Reveal All
I asked men on Tinder, Bumble and Reddit, “What is up with men and pegging?” I got 10,000 views on my thread. So here’s the deal:
Everybody seems to be talking about pegging lately. What’s all the buzz about? Pegging has become a hot topic of conversation. I have heard it mentioned in many places, including parties, dinners, on the metro in Barcelona, at a lunch place in Tulum, and even at a random bus stop in Oslo. Why is everyone talking about it so much? I will give you the details: I have asked men on Bumble, Tinder and the holy grail of all things: Reddit.
But first, let’s start with what pegging is.
Pegging is a type of sexual activity that involves a partner wearing a strap-on dildo and penetrating the other partner's anal. This can be an incredibly pleasurable experience for both partners, and as such, it has become a popular activity.
I’m writing this article because I don’t have a personal experience with pegging, but many women I know do. I first heard about it years ago. A woman I knew told me her partner loved it, but she was neutral. However, love makes you try all sorts of things, and love made her try it.
My obsession with the topic is a bit about some women seeming to want it, and some men as well, but not having the courage actually to do anything about it. Talking about sexual fantasies can be uncomfortable, even with the people that know your poop routine, e.g. partner. I’m talking about those things people might want to try but never actually have the courage to do.
I love the discomfort of learning and asking about things that make people uncomfortable and uneased. So I asked men on Bumble, Tinder, and Reddit what they think of pegging.
When I first started, I messaged a lot of men. I began with a casual,
“Hello, how are you?”
and asked if it was okay to ask a very intimate question for research purposes. My question was;
“What are your thoughts on pegging? Have you tried? Are you interested, and if not, why not?”
Let us be entirely frank for a moment: NONE of them expected this, most of them shut me down, and some even removed my match. But after some time, I got feedback: “Hell no, and it is not for me”.
Others thought it was a booty DM. My sweet, female researcher heart was broken. But why? Why did most men feel conflicted about the idea of pegging? Let’s find out!
Here are the top 3 reasons some feel shame about it:
- Because the masculinity narrative says anything that can be considered gay or feminine is forbidden, and penetration can be looked at that way.
- Pleasurable anal penetration requires vulnerability, and men have been taught that vulnerability is weak and forbidden.
- Their partners (or anyone who finds out) will judge them as being submissive (another assumption), a sissy, less of a man, bisexual or gay, gross or disgusting because…anal. (I am an LGBTQ+ lover, Living life as a B, so no hate)
Let's get into the platform part:
So I go to Reddit, which is the holy grail of all questions. I ask the question, and it turns out there are tons of men who love Pegging. Let me tell you why they love it.
- Pleasure. Orgasms with prostate stimulation are generally described as 10x as powerful as a regular orgasm. HUGE motivator.
- It can feel exhausting to always appear strong, in control and not expressive of emotion. Some men crave letting go of control and just receiving.
- The pleasure from prostate stimulation is about physiology, not specific mindsets. Virtually all men can feel pleasure from prostate stimulation.
One Reddit user that works out and does other physical things explained that he has been doing it for over a year, even though he and his girlfriend aren’t into any other kinky stuff. He mentions that he would never tell his friends or discuss it publicly but finds it pleasurable. He explains that many people that are into Pegging don’t care for the cross-dressing/femdom/ submissive/cuck/slave/sissification dynamics typical with the act. Still, it is about the pleasure of being a receiver and the intimacy with his partner.
“Wish my wife was into it. The subject always fizzles when it’s brought up. I’m not gonna push it too hard. If she’s into it, then sweet, but if not, so be it.”
I think a reality for many who dream of having this experience: Is that it is unpleasant to ask and be asked because it does not traditionally fit into the narrative people have about heteronormative sex; Pegging is placed in a category for the kinky, and male prostate pleasure is reserved for gay men. In my experience, cis, men are open to one finger, maybe two — but say hell no to the strap-on.
But the reality for those who have tried it is vastly different many states that pegging is pleasurable and can also be an incredibly intimate experience for couples. In fact, many couples find that engaging in Pegging helps to strengthen their relationship and deepen their bond.
As I explored the subject of Pegging, I realized that it is a very important aspect of male sexuality and affects how men see themselves. Studies on the subject mention that in addition to its pleasurable and intimate aspects, it’s also beneficial on a psychological level. The act of being penetrated can promote feelings of vulnerability and trust for the receiving male, and the women in control of the strap-on can feel more confident and empowered.
But many associate male pleasure with being highly formatted around the heteronormative act we see in mainstream pornography.
One guy explains that he thinks it’s just a very polarizing kink. On the one hand, some men may be really into it because of how much sensation it can give them. On the other hand, some men may find it hard to separate it from the idea that they are getting fucked by essentially what would be a penis. Getting pegged may feel like it goes against their sexuality.
“I am of the latter, and just know I don’t want to try it.”
It is something he mentally can’t get over, but he believes that it is up to how each individual person feels about the act.
“Mental and physical cooperation is vital to any fetish or sex act. I think that’s a big issue I see around pegging; people assume because they are incredibly enthusiastic about it that, everyone else will be too. I’ve seen people get very nasty, coercive or sexist, pushing men into doing it, so I worry about it.”
In an interview, a cis male explains his motivation for Pegging. He enjoys being submissive during sex but also knows that some women enjoy being in control. He believes men's need to surrender is the same as women's desire to submit. He enjoys surrendering but also likes when a woman tells him what to do. While men and women both have the desire to surrender, pegging remains taboo for men.
However, the topic of Pegging is terrifying to admit, given the prevailing norms of masculinity.
The thought of admitting wanting it in the bedroom is far off for many men, even with the idea of anal play. He mentions that even if it may be a desire for many men, it is difficult to speak of or try. The transgressive part is attractive; it’s a physical surrender and letting go for a man. And that, he thinks, is terrifying to some men — which he feels is rather silly.
It’s amazing to do it with someone you love who loves you back. It’s fun, and it makes you feel good about yourself. It’s a way to show her that she is the only one for you. And it keeps everybody honest. It’s also sexy to try something new and keep each other guessing. Everyone loves surprises!
As this is a controversial topic, there are always those who disagree, so you get these types of answers as well:
It sounds like women who are into it want the power fantasy of flipping the tables and fucking the guys, so to speak.
Some guys are into it. Most aren’t. Some think only women should be penetrated. It’s all choice.
My area is a one-way exit.
These mainly came from men who haven’t tried it and stated that they think it’s weird and were threatened by it. But the guys who tried it really love it.
“I’m a guy who’s into Pegging, and I can assure you that it’s very different from what you’d expect. It’s more intimate than you might imagine, better than you might imagine, and it’s something everyone should try. I wish more guys would try it to expand their sexual experiences and get to feel new and amazing things.”
But there are some people who do not wish to try it.
There are many reasons why, and they should be respected. Some men do not want to try Pegging because they do not want to be feminized. They think that Pegging is a type of emasculation.
However, we all should be able to make these decisions without being judged. Pegging is a sexual activity, and everyone has the right to choose what they want to do with their body, including whether or not to try pegging. The most common issue is that people are not really making a decision; they are reacting to all the misconceptions, assumptions and myths instead of responding to accurate information.
Although some people may view pegging as a problematic or intimidating sexual activity, it is actually relatively easy to engage in. The most important thing is to ensure that you and your partner are comfortable with the activity. It would be best if you also used plenty of lubricants. It is also essential to communicate with your partner and listen to their needs when engaging in Pegging (consent, respect and love — always). Pegging can be an excellent way to explore new activities and spice up a relationship.
A little note at the end:
The pleasure from prostate stimulation is about physiology, not about sexual orientation. Virtually all men, gay to straight, can enjoy anal play, but if you want to expand your horizons, it’s entirely up to you and your partner.
Walk your own path.
