FOOD AND SEX

Love Behind a New York City Deli Case

Tasting her cheesecake with cherry topping

Mark Tulin
Sex and Satire
Published in
2 min readFeb 16, 2022

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New York Cheesecake. Photo by Yulia Khlebnikova on Unsplash
New York Cheesecake. Photo by Yulia Khlebnikova on Unsplash

Here’s my number —
now gladly cuff me to the meat case,
blindfold me with two slices of salami —
I’ll be forever yours if you tickle my feet
with your golden-brown latkes.

O, sexy deli lady —
gratify my afternoon craving
Glorify my salty desire—
trim the fat from my brisket of beef.

Keep my hamantash warm,
my busty babka plump —
here, squeeze my matzo balls
with both hands,
and don’t forget to put horseradish
on the gefilte fish.

My deli love, I’ll have a pound of the chopped liver
and a bowl of borscht with sour cream and dill.
You have the best damn kosher pickle,
this side of the Hudson River.

Serve me lox and bagels,
make sure you spread my cream cheese,
nice and thick—
I’ll bang you with my Hebrew National,
if you serve me your kugel
on a silver plate.

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Mark Tulin
Sex and Satire

I escaped a therapy career to follow a dream. Poetry/Humor/Sexuality/Doodler/Storyteller — https://crowonthewire.com