Van Life Takes Away My Sex Drive, What Should I do?

Is it because of the pee funnel?

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Let’s go straight to it. My sex drive is gone and I blame in on the four-day road trip we just had with our semi-finished camper van.

The keyword here is ‘semi-finished’. This means we have a bed, a solar electricity system, a cooktop, water and a sink. But we don’t have a shower, a toilet and any home decor. It’s very obvious that we’re in a van.

You already smell the problem. Here are the three things why if you think taking your rustic van on an adventure can make your sex life adventurous too, think again.

1. I am peeing next to my boyfriends’ head

I apologise for my night time pee-ing routine. Screw first-world lifestyle where a washroom is accessible 24/7! If I were a hunter-gatherer in the wild forest, I wouldn’t go outside my hut to pee for the fear of being attack by night animals!

But here I was at 3 a.m. crawling out of the bed and turning on the torch function of my iPhone. I set up my ‘Shewee’ and aim my extended dick inside the pee jug for a night wee.

Sorry to be so graphic, but there’s more. The aroma of the beer-coloured liquid in the pee jug was unmistakable, and my pee was sort of mingling with it.