Establishing Healthy Boundaries Can Help Your Sex Coaching Clients

Many sex coaches and other helping professionals help their clients learn to establish healthy boundaries in their interpersonal relationships.

Boundaries help define what is being consented to in sexual interactions.

They are also important for people who have a tendency to be codependent.

But are you establishing healthy boundaries with your clients?

Being in the Same Community Presents Boundary Challenges

Many of us are embedded in the communities we most want to help.

For instance, if you identify as kinky, your target market for your sex coach services may be the BDSM community in your area. If so, you might run into clients at kinky events and could even wind up dating or playing with some of the same people.

This can create a conflict of interest, which can confuse and even harm your client.

Many coaches in this predicament may choose not to attend events in their local area, in order to reduce the risk of this happening. This is not required, but if you decide to continue showing up at local events that your clients may also frequent, you need to prepare for that.

The coach-client relationship must have extremely well-defined and clearly-articulated boundaries to avoid confusion. This means thinking about and talking with your clients about these potential issues early on in the coaching relationship, way before you might encounter each other in your community in a different capacity.

Boundaries Reduce Codependence

Boundaries are also important in terms of when you are available to your clients. It’s so easy and tempting to slide into codependence with clients who feel particularly needy, fragile, or vulnerable. And yet, we simply reinforce unhealthy relationship patterns in their lives when we don’t hold firm boundaries with them.

Be clear and firm in terms of your hours, how your clients may contact you, your fees, and what is included in your fees, among other things.

Finally, remember that as sex coaches, we are not responsible for our clients’ mental health or physical health care. If you have a concern about someone being mentally/emotionally unstable, or at risk of harm from themselves or someone else — this is when you need to refer them to other professionals or authorities. Maintain your professional boundaries and gently remind them that you are not qualified to treat certain types of things. Support and encourage them to get the appropriate assistance.

Healthy Boundaries with Your Clients Helps You and Them

Maintaining healthy boundaries helps your clients and it also helps you to feel confident and competent. It keeps your stress levels manageable and allows you to enjoy your incredibly important work.

It’s leading by example, and practicing the very lessons we aim to teach our clients about managing their own sexual lives.

Holding healthy boundaries is practicing self-care and necessary for being successful in this work.

Do you have what it takes to be a sex coach? Learn more about this profession and how you can join our community here.