Spiritual Diversity & Sex Coaching
How do sex and spirit intersect? Are you comfortable working with people who hold different spiritual beliefs from you?
Do you consider yourself to be a religious or a spiritual person? In what ways do you feel faith and sex intersect, if at all? How do you feel about the impact of religion on sexual expression? As a sex coach, these are important questions to ask yourself.
Both sex and spirit are integral to a holistic view of human beings. Here at Sex Coach U, we use the MEBES© Model, developed by our founder, Dr. Patti Britton, to work with clients as whole people. The spokes on the wheel are Mind, Emotions, Body, Energy, and — of course — Spirituality.
Spirituality plays a critical role in how we see & interact with the world, with others, and most importantly, with ourselves.
This approach isn’t about pushing a particular belief on our clients, but rather helping our clients evaluate how their own personal beliefs interact with their sexuality. It’s about helping them develop a deeper connection with themselves. It gives us the opportunity to address how elements of a client’s spiritual beliefs may help or hinder their progress in embracing their sexuality.
Because the “S” on the MEBES© Wheel isn’t associated with any particular belief system, anyone can theoretically work with anyone, regardless of spiritual practice or religious beliefs (or lack thereof).
However, being knowledgeable about how different belief systems regard sexuality can help you work with clients with more awareness and sensitivity. Many people are recovering from spiritual-sexual trauma. Since our personal beliefs are so closely linked to our identities, a sex coach must handle such traumas with a deft hand and without judgement.
Plus, you are actually serving your clients when you can include their beliefs in sessions. They’ll feel you’re speaking to them in their own language. Incorporating their beliefs into your work creates a safe and productive space in which a person can be vulnerable and receptive. Your rapport will strengthen, your clients will feel deeply seen and understood, and you’ll be in a position to help them more effectively.
You likely won’t see eye to eye with some of your clients.
It can be challenging to work with a client who comes from a very different spiritual or religious belief to you, especially when they have very different values to you. Although it might be your instinct to see these clients through a biased lens, it’s important to avoid doing so whenever possible.
Remember: Sex coaching is client centered, so while you may not agree with the client’s beliefs, remember that this is their process and their journey, not yours. You may be called to exit your comfort zone to work with a particular client; ultimately, it’s up to you to determine whether or not you are willing and able to do that.
In general, it’s not necessary to share your own religious/spiritual beliefs with your clients. The decision to disclose to your client about your beliefs will depend on the context and whether you think it will serve your client or not. A sex coach must set and maintain strong, healthy boundaries, so take care when considering what to share about yourself.
Even though it’s important to be open-minded and unbiased, it’s equally important to stay true to yourself.
Occasionally, someone’s belief system will be so radically different from your own that you may feel unable to work with that person fairly and objectively. If you are feeling particularly triggered, then this is the time to refer out to another professional who either shares these beliefs or feels comfortable working with them.
When your mind is crowded with objections and reservations, you lose the clarity you need to truly listen and act as a supportive guide. This serves neither you nor your client.
Should you experience this, remember to be gentle with yourself; there’s no need to feel shame or guilt about declining to work with someone. Respect your own limits. And know that, sometimes, referring out can be the kindest thing you can do for your clients.
Do you have what it takes to be a sex coach? Learn about what it means to be a sex coach with this free video series from Sex Coach U.