The first time I knew oral sex while on your period was a thing was when I was reading How Stella Got Her Groove Back as a 15-year-old high schooler.
The title character was discussing sex with one of her friends with benefits and mentioned how he liked to go down on her when she was on her period.
The character mentioned how she’d let him do it, but there was no way she was going to kiss him afterward.
My 15-year-old mind was blown.
It had never occurred to me that was a possibility.
I didn’t lose my virginity for another three years, but I was well versed in the ways of sex and sexuality having secretly read the Hitte Report when I was ten and still period oral sex was nothing I could have imagined before reading about it.
Fast forward to college, and my then-boyfriend decided that my period being on was not a good excuse not to give me some oral attention. Now, in this case, I was wearing a tampon, so in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t all that scandalous.
Similar to Stella in the novel, there was no way I was kissing him after.
Things got even more interesting when a grad school, while getting a ride home from a friend, I mentioned I would really like some head right now, but I was on my cycle.
“I can help you with that.”
And help he did.
That was a decidedly more messy experience because, while I was near the end of my cycle, blood is still blood. Fortunately, he didn’t seem to mind. He was an enthusiastic and skillful lover and he wasn’t going to let a little menstrual blood stop him from showing me a good time.
Once again, no kissing afterward.
Then there was the ex who was just nasty in a good way.
He’d go down on you right out of your gym clothes, sweat and all.
He didn’t care about sweat, menstrual blood, or anything; all times were a good time for sex, oral or otherwise as far as he was concerned.
He had a lot of other issues that ended our relationship, but sex wasn’t one of them.
So is there a particular etiquette when it comes to getting oral sex while on your period? Some agreed upon rules everyone should follow before they attempt to get their Red Wings?
I’d say no since it is still a pretty niche sexual activity for many, but here are a few tips to help make the experience more enjoyable if you decide you want to help your partner earn his Red Wings.
Asking for what you want is the foundation for an enjoyable sexual experience, regardless of the sex act. Unless you specifically have a man who offers, you’re going to have to make the request.
It’s perfectly understandable if it isn’t something he’s into, but if it is something that just never crossed his mind, well, you may be presently surprised by his answer.
2. Clean up beforehand
Periods can be messy affairs, and even if you don’t plan on using a barrier during sex, it doesn’t hurt to do a quick clean-up before the action begins.
Baby wipes or adult wipes will get the job done quickly and effortlessly if you’re not looking to do a full shower. A quick clean will help you feel fresh beforehand and ready to enjoy yourself.
3. Use a barrier
If you want the experience of period oral sex without all the messiness, use a barrier during sex.
You can keep your tampon in, use a diva cup, dental dam or some other method to keep the blood at bay while still getting your pleasure on.
Ultimately, you want everyone to be comfortable so they can fully enjoy the experience without feeling squeamish or insecure.
Just like all other sex acts including but not limited to period sex, period oral sex, isn’t for everyone. And that’s okay. If you’re reading this thinking — nope, not going to happen — that’s cool; you’re not wrong to feel that way.
It is an acquired taste after all (no pun intended), and one that can be fun and pleasurable for all involved if everyone enters with an open mind and enthusiasm.
I’m a fan of helping my partners get their Red Wings if they’re so inclined, and hopefully — if you and your partner are so inclined — you can help your partner get theirs.