Life itself is sexually transmitted. So I’d say that sex is an important part of the human experience. And there is more to sex than penetration and genital stimulation.
It’s about connecting with your clothes on or off. Feeling all the things. Exploration and discovery.
It’s the difference between a good day and a great one. Staving off stress and supporting your immune system.
If you are into it, sex that is. And it’s totally okay if you’re not.
But if you are, I am writing this for you. Because there are infinite ways to make sex enjoyable. FYI, it’s impossible try them all.
But here are 6 creative ways to add a little spice to your sex life straightaway:
It might seem the opposite of sexy to plan out sex in advance, but that’s so not true!
Before becoming sexually intimate, my lover and I went through this yes/maybe/no/ list. Which allowed us to get clear about what was okay and what wasn’t. We talked about the hell yes’s. And got real about the hell no’s.
We discovered the things we were both interested in exploring. Set boundaries where necessary. We talked about fantasies and past experiences. And we imagined all the pleasurable possibilities.
When we finally had sex it was amazing! Because we’d already talked about our likes and dislikes. Negotiating on the front end eliminated the guesswork. There was almost no awkwardness because intimacy was already established.
Consent and communication make sex better. Period. Full stop.
Coconut Oil + Peppermint Essential Oil = OooLaLa
Peppermint oil is known to relax and calm nerves. When applied to the skin it provides a cooling and tingling sensation. Which makes it great for full-body massages!
I suggest using coconut oil as a carrier oil. Because it’s antifungal, antibacterial, and also antiviral.
The recipe is super easy to make:
- Melt a 1/4 cup of coconut oil in a small glass bowl. Pour hot water into a larger bowl and place the smaller bowl inside. The coconut oil has a pretty low melting point, so it will begin to liquify right away.
- Once the oil is completely melted, add 5–7 drops of peppermint oil.
- Store in a sealed glass container, a mason jar is perfect.
- Use as often as your body wants.
I encourage you to massage yourself, daily. Becoming physically intimate with your own body is a great way to make sex better with a partner. Solo sexy-time is an M-U-S-T!
Here’s to amping up your physical intimacy game!
**Fine print: Do not use this on your genitalia. I don’t want you out here getting burned or yeasty.
Watch Yourself in a Full-length Mirror
I once had a lover who was super visual. There were mirrors on every wall in his bedroom (ceiling included). I thought I would be too self-conscious to enjoy myself. But I was wrong.
Seeing myself experience pleasure from multiple angles was hot! Watching him disappear inside of me from above, made my body do some thangs! I am not into porn, but I really enjoyed watching the show called us.
You don’t need to redecorate your bedroom to have this experience. All you need to do is get a full-length mirror and turn it horizontally. That way you will be able to see your entire bodies in motion.
Watching you watching you… might heat things up a bit. You’ve been warned!
I once blindfolded a lover so that he could stop thinking his way to orgasm. By taking away the sense he relied on the most (sight), he was able to be more present and feel more deeply. And because he could not see, the anticipation of being stroked, touched and fondled heightened his pleasure.
It was deeeelicious!
But sensation play is about more than sensory deprivation. It’s also about enhancing sensation — everywhere.
Dragging your nails up and down their spine. Tickling nipples with ice. Softly dusting their body with a feather. And if you’re feeling kinky, you can flog, cane, whip, or paddle one another. It will hurt so good!
Don’t forget the scented candles and mood music ;-)
Toy Shopping — Together
Having a play date with your boo is a special occasion. And what better way to spice up playtime than a brand new toy?!
Vibrators… Butt Plugs… and We Vibe oh my!
Going toy shopping can be loads of fun! And roaming the aisles of the sex toy shop is so much better with a playmate. You get to see first hand the kind of toys your partner likes to play with.
Vibrators… Butt Plugs… and We Vibe oh my!
To buzz or not to buzz?
Discover new ways to tease and please one another. And the lube! Don’t forget the LUBE! Slip and slide here you cum!
*Fine print: toy shops have been known to spark spontaneous arousal.
In case you didn’t know, public sex is against the law in most places. But that doesn’t mean you can’t play outside!
There are a gazillion ways to have some sexy fun in plain sight. Here are a few:
- Partner-controlled sex toys - These toys are small enough to fit under your clothes. Quiet enough to not be heard while standing in line at Costco. And they can be controlled remotely (via smartphone) by your partner. Let the games begin!
- Handjobs in the car! - So you’re driving down the highway, stroking your lover’s member singing along to your favorite song. And if there’s a drive-in near you, let your partner’s fingers do the walking up your thigh, into your panties, and right into your pleasure center.
- Sexting + Verbal Domination - There is nothing like going about your day, minding your own business, when you receive a command from your lover via text. “Go in the bathroom and take your panties off. Right now.” Who said you have to be into BDSM to experience the thrill of being possessed? Having someone give you sex tasks on an ordinary day is definitely a panty dropper!
Got any tried and true ways to spice up sexy time?
Feel free to share your tales in the comments!