8 Ball-Busting Testicle Myths Men Wish Women Would Stop Believing
Ladies, don’t get a testicle tanner for your man just yet
In case you don’t watch the asshattery known as Fox “News,” masculinity is under threat. In a new Fox series titled “The End of Men,” Tucker Carlson warns men that testosterone is dropping and it will soon spell the end of humanity. (But only for white dudes.)
Carlson's solution is for men to flambe their balls with infrared light called “testicle tanning.”
Now stay with me because this is going to require some carnival barker logic. Carlson contends that white men will be replaced by brown and Black men unless they tan their white balls brown. White skin = good. White balls = bad. Got it?
(I so wish I could turn this into a rhyming children’s picture book. There’s a teaching moment in here somewhere.)
But testicle tanners are no joke. According to the manufacturers of one device;
“To the surprise of most, exposing the torso or the testes to specific frequencies of light in the red or near-infrared range has been shown to increase testosterone in men.”
So let me get this straight…You could shine your red light whatchamacallit on your boobs or your balls and get the same boost of…
