A Tale of Two Penises, One Big, One Small

Which one made me come more often may surprise you all

Anne Shark
Feb 10 · 6 min read
Photo from Unsplash

Recently I was telling a friend about a past lover I was missing a bit during a current sexual dry spell. This guy could read my body like braille — and he had a huge dick.

I loved Shay’s cock — it was a huge (har-har) turn-on, and the way it felt when he entered me made me gasp in shocked pleasure.

He had what some refer to as “Big Dick Energy” — he was extremely confident about his ability to satisfy women.

And he could satisfy me. He’d get into my head long before he got into my body, warming me up fully for his grand entrance.

Sex was experimental, messy and fun — we exchanged energy and control in a flawlessly unpredictable, but fully-engaged way.

We’d have sex outdoors, finding secluded paths to wander down, the journey alone enough to make me fully wet and ready for his big cock to enter me. As soon as we’d find a hidden spot, he would lift my dress, pull my panties down and fuck me against a tree or while holding me tightly against his body.

We’d play games during sex at home too — “Dirty Truth or Dare,” with just two players. We were ethically non-monogamous, and there was one time he dared me to call a guy we were both crushing on while he was fucking me.

“It’s voicemail,” I said, and he retorted, “Then leave a message” — so I did.

While holding his huge dick inside me, doing my best to keep my voice steady as Shay slowly and steadily moved in and out of me, I told this guy’s voicemail that Shay and I were hanging out and wondered if he might want to join us. (For the record, we did eventually have a seaside threesome late one night after people had more or less left the beach.)

I loved Shay’s huge cock — and so did Shay.

He was a bit obsessed with the size of it, as well as the size of other cocks. When I slept with someone else, he’d get curious.

One time, after I’d hooked up with an old lover (something that was permitted within our relationship structure, but still came with the weight of potentially creating some hard feelings) Shay dealt with those feelings through sex.

“How big was it?” he asked me after my hook-up.

I sensed a part of him wanted to hear me say that my other lover was huge — that he had driven me wild with desire for his huge member to enter me. I sensed that Shay wanted to dive head first into his feelings of inferiority and feel them to the fullest before fucking his way out of them.

I understood — emotions are felt in the body as much as the mind, and sex is a full body-mind experience, so engaging your sexually to work through your emotions made perfect sense.

This particular game though, I didn’t engage in. I knew what he wanted to hear, but instead I told him the truth — “About average,” I said.

“You don’t have to downplay it,” Shay offered generously. “I want you to feel good.”

I believe he really did want that — despite the uncomfortable feelings it might have brought up in him, he wanted me to enjoy my body and sexuality, even if it was with someone else.

He just had one little — or shall I say big — thing wrong: a large phallus isn’t the holy grail of phalluses.

While his size gave him confidence, which I found extremely arousing, the penis itself had its pros and cons.

For one, my orgasm was hit or miss from penetration alone.

Because of his length, he bypassed my g-spot with barely a backwards glance when he was fully inside me.

Over time I learned a couple of tricks: I learned how to angle my body so he massaged me from the inside while I rubbed my clit against his pubic bone (aka “the coital alignment position” which Holly Bradshaw has a great piece about here), as well as to tighten and relax my vaginal muscles to more fully enjoy his girth.

Both techniques could sometimes get me there, but it wasn’t a guarantee. Plus, certain positions that worked for me didn’t always work for him, and he’d sometimes lose his erection.

Especially in the beginning, before we developed on ease and rhythm that allowed us both to move the way we wanted to, maintaining his hardness while I rubbed against his pubic bone wasn’t going to happen for long.

Condoms, too, were an issue.

It was clear he wasn’t crazy about them. Even the larger-sized ones could sometimes constrict blood flow, again causing him to need to thrust more than I liked in order to keep himself hard.

I’m not complaining — sex with him was amazing.

But it was because of our chemistry — our willingness to learn and adjust for each other, to give and take, to play and discover — that it was amazing, not merely because he was above-average in size.

Shay’s belief that a big penis was required for good sex with misinformed.

In fact, the phallus that gave me the most reliable orgasms was not large at all. It belonged to a German guy I’d dated several years earlier.

His cock was not big, but to this day I believe it was designed specifically to fill the shape of my particular vagina with blissful perfection.

It curved just the right amount upwards, and even when he was fully inside of me, he was never far from my g-spot.

Nico was perhaps the exact opposite of Shay.

He had a lot of control over his body and his emotions. Foreplay came in the form of long, slow meals he would cook for us, served with a good-quality red wine.

We’d spend several hours eating, sipping and talking while betraying only hints of sexual desire — a hand slid around my waist as I helped him serve food, extended eye-contact as we spoke and feet teasing each other under the table.

Our desire for each other would increase slowly and gently before stepping into the bedroom.

Nico had no problem using condoms, nor did he feel the need to thrust into me jackrabbit-style in order to maintain his erection.

Condoms, in fact, added to the experience. He’d turn me on like crazy then very calmly go get a condom, leaving me lying in bed in perfect anticipation.

When he entered me, he did it with control. Sex was the cliché “becoming one” with him — from breath to body, we were perfectly in tune.

My orgasms would build steadily from the moment he entered, me my body relaxed and receptive, turned on and in just the right mindset for sex.

With Nico, I was not only able to orgasm consistently, but also control my orgasm.

There were times I would have been able to come almost immediately, but chose, instead, to hold onto the pleasure allowing it to build in intensity until I finally gave in to the release. After I came, he’d calmly ask, “Have you been satisfied?” (I loved the awkwardness of his English!) before coming himself.

We sometimes talked during sex, but we never played mind games. We had a peaceful, pleasurable, Tantric-like sexuality that made the most of skin sensation, eye contact, the scent of each others’ bodies and pacing. This is what developed and sustained our connection.

At the end of the day, the brain is the biggest sex organ.

Both of these lovers of mine were marvelously satisfying, and neither one had anything to worry about regarding their man-parts.

My ability to connect with and love each of these men was what allowed me to connect with and love their penises — not the other way around.


Conversations about sex from all around the world

Anne Shark

Written by

Top writer in Love, Relationships and Feminism, Anne writes about polyamory, sex and dating.


Conversations about sex from all around the world

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