Bumble’s New Ad Touches a Sore Spot in Dating Culture

What’s the role of sex in modern dating?

Renata Ellera Gomes
Sexography

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Photo by Samuel Rodriguez on Unsplash

“Chemistry is extremely important to me,” he said, moving his wrist in a circular pattern so the ice and whiskey in his glass swirled.

Around us, the crowded bar bustled with activity. Well-dressed men and women perched on bar stools, leaning over small round tables to hear one another better amidst the din. I glanced around and wondered how many of those couples were already a couple, and how many would never get that far.

“I need to have sex with a woman before I can decide if I want a serious relationship with her or not,” he concluded and took a sip of his scotch.

He had been telling me why his latest fling hadn’t evolved past the early stages of infatuation. I had met the woman in question briefly on another occasion. She was beautiful, polite, and could carry a conversation with grace, but she had asked for exclusivity before having sex, which he felt was manipulative.

I didn’t know what to say. I could have told him I had heard that line before, but I knew it would take too long to explain what it’s like to be on the other side of that equation — and longer still to dissect how different people can look at the same problem and reach different conclusions. Instead, I sat quietly…

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Renata Ellera Gomes
Sexography

Writing about love, relationships, culture, and life in general. Get my book, Acid Sugar, at shorturl.at/hvAVX