Evolving Our Sexual Lexicon
Are the words and phrases we use reflecting our changing perspectives on sexuality?
In 2019, I learned more about sexuality — even my own — than I have, perhaps, in my entire adult life. I have, I’m sorry to say, too often felt oppressed by shame and as such, I kept my sexuality strictly controlled and quiet. I also cycled through long periods of time in which I’d distance myself from my sexuality or box it away, entirely, when I felt out of control or afraid.
There’s something about the forties, though… It’s a life-changing threshold to cross. Suddenly, you discover that there’s no more time to hide who you are or what you want. Suddenly, you find your mind opens and you’re filled with curiosity — about yourself, about others, about life.
As I began to talk more openly about my sexuality and to listen to others’ experiences, I’ve discovered that there are still a few things that are hanging around the lexicon — phrases and words that I’m not sure should be welcome anymore.
As my perspective opens, I want my language to reflect that. As such, these are the terms I want to leave behind, especially as we stand on the precipice of a new decade:
