All men, let me start with the bad news first.
If you want to give your girl mind-blowing, best ever squirting (the keyword is squirting!) orgasms, your dick (however big it is!) might not help you always. Why? Because every vagina is different and the moves that turn a woman on varies from woman to woman. That means you need to do something different to get her to an orgasm. And stats say that only 12.9% women reach orgasm through penetration alone.
Now the good news.
If there were one sure way to become a master of female orgasms then that way would be learning how to finger a girl in just the right way… Until she explodes with pleasure. Yes in this world of BDSM, threesomes and shower sex, fingering is a lost art waiting to be rediscovered.
Yes, fingering is one of the easiest ways to give her pleasure. It allows you to give her targeted, focused stimulation and can be one of the best ways to help her have an orgasm. And unlike penetrative sex or even oral sex, it is not taxing to the giver or taker. Your fingers give you complete control over how you stimulate her.
And the best thing about fingering? You do not need to worry about how long you last. Give her short, sweet orgasms that send waves of pleasure through her body. Make her toes curl with delight. Activate her pleasure nodes like never before. In fact, more often fingering proves to be far more exciting than one long, strenuous session of high-energy penetration sex.
And here are some things you need to know about fingering her to orgasm.
Before you venture anywhere near her vulva, spend a lot of time teasing her and getting her excited.
For most women, the more anticipation is built up before touching her vagina, the more aroused they become. Start with slow foreplay kissing her neck, shoulders, arms, and lips and then move downwards towards her inner thighs. You can never go wrong with foreplay if you do it right.
Approach her vagina but slide away from it as if it is invisible. It is like playing with a cat. If you stroke it, it will run away. However, if you just make purring noises and tease it, it will come to you.
Remember you cannot hurry up things. The more aroused her body is, the more enjoyable it will be when you finally touch her clitoris.
Don’t bang her with your fingers.
One of the worst mistakes any man can do is to start banging her with his finger as if it is a dick.
As Dr. Kendra, a sex counselor says. “Moving in and out super-fast like you’re poking a fish tank with just one finger doesn’t really do anything. It gets you excited that something might happen and then you’re just sitting there awkwardly.” And this is one of the reasons that make women hate fingering as they find the experience very painful.
The clit is so sensitive that touch can sometimes feel really uncomfortable or even hurt certain women. And always remember it is the outside, which counts.
The kind of “fingering” that actually brings women to orgasm is rubbing the outside area around the clit. In fact, that is how most women masturbate because it is what actually feels the best. Your fingering should start with the outside and then go inside and that too if required. For most women even outside clit rubbing is enough to make them orgasm. Don’t overdo, it spoils the experience.
Remember the “one-trick-for-all” will not work here. So if some move felt really good for your ex-girlfriend that does not mean it will do the trick for your next girlfriend. So improvise and adapt.
Know what you are touching.
Your touch should match the sensitivity of her area. The right pressure of your fingers will stimulate her to seventh heaven.
To know more, let us understand the female anatomy.
· Her outer labia: These are outer lips of her vagina covered with pubic hair. There are very few nerve endings in this area and you stimulate this area through her clothes. You can also rub them through your fingertips and pull them apart very gently.
· Her inner labia: Here the skin is thinner and wetter. Here you need to be gentle with gradually exploring through your fingertips. Stroking it lightly in a circular movement should do the trick.
· The vaginal opening is where sex happens. The majority of the nerve endings are located in the outer third of the vaginal canal, so tracing your finger around the opening or inserting a few fingers inside will feel great.
· The clitoris is hands-down the most sensitive part of her anatomy. The tiny little organ is packed with more than 7000 nerve endings. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Be very gentle with the clitoris until you get a sense of how much stimulation she likes.
Remember the key is making her relaxed. The more relaxed she is going to feel, and the more pleasure she will allow herself to take in. Make it an enjoyable experience for both of you.
Lastly, make her completely relaxed.
Making a girl squirt really is not as difficult or time-consuming as it might seem. And the key lies in creating a relaxing environment.
That said, not every girl is a big squirter but you can make any girl squirt if you create the right comforting environment and use the right fingering technique. Some things you can do can be.
· Put some music on. Light some aromatic candles. Give her a long, nice back rub.
· The tissues of the vulva are quite delicate, and fingering can often be uncomfortable if there is not enough lubrication. Lube prevents any uncomfortable pulling or tugging of the skin and amplifies the sensation. A nice water-based lube should be more than enough.
· Be a man and do not shove long fingernails into her. Keeping your nails trimmed is a mandatory prerequisite for a great fingering experience.
Remember good fingering thrives on improvisation. You definitely don’t want to be too caught up in following a specific set of steps, because that will get boring. Don’t make it mechanical. Be spontaneous. Surprise her. Be a part of her pleasure. She will notice it, I promise.
As Thom York has rightly said.
Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it is the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it is almost breathtaking to the point you feel you cannot take it. And at this moment, you are a part of them.