How We Define Sex & Why That’s Important
What is sex and why are we still asking that question?
“I don’t know if I’m ready to date yet,” my friend Sunny recently told me. “I don’t want to lose myself again. But I have to admit, this is hard. I’ve never been celibate for so long.”
Of all my friends, Sunny knows the most about how blogging on sex has affected my life, so I feel very free to speak openly with her about the subject. “Aren’t you masturbating? Isn’t that sex?”
She tilted her head in consideration. “You know, I never thought of it that way. I guess so.”
I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. I’m the kind of person who takes a long breather between relationships — I’m talking several years — and as such, I’m used to going through what some people would call “dry spells.” I used to make jokes about it, in fact — cracks about how long it’s been since I’ve had sex, how desperate I am for a good penis. It helps to ease the tension of feeling like a loser in a society that so often correlates sexual activity with one’s worthiness.
This past year, however, I’ve challenged myself to stop joking about it. There’s nothing wrong with me or anyone else who needs to take some time between relationships. It’s okay to go through periods of time without experiencing sex with…
