I Climaxed Using the Shower Head
I thought only people with vaginas could do that
I have written before about my experimental masturbation practices. Approaching forty and having been doing it the classic way for all my life, I have been missing out from a lot of pleasure. Thus, I have decided to expand my horizons and touch myself in new ways.
There is a general rule that helps my explorations. To enhance my masturbation in quality and intensity, I ask myself:
“How would a woman do it?”
I copy women.
There are many interpretations to what that means. Some provide simple tactics and ideas to play with, while others require deep insight and confronting hidden parts of myself. In either case, exploring them feeds my masturbating experiences in ways that I had never imagined.
In this case, I started with a playful idea and ended up discovering deeper stuff.
It is common knowledge that women use the shower head to please themselves. Last night, I managed to do the same. I reached an orgasm without actually touching myself. I aimed the shower head onto my genitals, until I climaxed.
At first, I wasn’t sure at all that it would work for a man. Guess what.
It took less time than what I had expected.
Shower play
Everybody had gone to sleep. I had taken a shower with our baby, read to our kid, and done a foot massage to my wife. I had also managed to write for about an hour. Then, I got in the bathtub again, to finish grooming my pubic area, which I had started earlier while showering with the baby.
I was very much turned on, so I lied in the bathtub and started gently touching myself. For some reason, I refused to turn the water off, as I usually do. Instead, I reduced its pressure, but continued pouring it onto myself. Then I said, “yeah, why not?” I decided to try shower play.
I started passing the shower head over my genitalia, exploring the most sensitive zones: (1) where the scrotum meets either inner thigh and (2) where the penis head meets the shaft.
Precision felt better. I changed the setting to the most focused spray pattern and aimed the shower head to the above areas. I kept the pressure to a gentle flow.
It was the first time I deliberately used water to stimulate specific erogenous zones.
The sensation was so powerful that I was fully present throughout the process. A couple of times, my mind drifted away, attempting to summon a fantasy. It is accustomed to do so, whenever I masturbate. Still, the fantasy faded out quickly and there I was again, fully present, stimulated by the physical reality alone.
The flow of water was gentle. It felt like wet little mouths of a hundred sex fairies tending on my genitals.
I still didn’t know whether that whole process would lead to anything other than a simply pleasant feeling. I was there, though, determined to explore it. I focused my mind on the sensation even more intensely.
It didn’t take long before I started feeling the orgasm’s precursors. Familiar subtle tingles, spreading from my genitalia to the rest of my body.
As my semen finally gushed out, I was in a mix of bliss, surprise, gratitude, and plain sexy fun. I had just had a fulfilling orgasm and I felt great about it.
It wasn’t only the release of sexual energy. It was also the exhilaration of having destroyed a mental barrier.
I had wiped out some unspoken belief that men are supposed to please themselves in very specific ways.
Good job!
What came before I did
So, can I just walk into the bathroom anytime and repeat that? Can I hype myself up to an orgasm in five or even ten minutes, using our shower head?
If you paid attention, you must have noticed a couple of things that I did that night, before actually going for the finale. They were not intentional foreplay—it was simply how the night had evolved. Still, they happened to have a stimulating effect on my libido. When water touched me, I was already a cocked sex pistol.
Let’s have a look at what had happened just before.
Shave and a haircut
The first one was the grooming I did, while I showered with our baby. He is one year old, so he sat properly upright and played with his toys. At the same time, I shaved my scrotum and trimmed my pubic hair.
It wasn’t sexiness that made me shave. I hadn’t done it for several months and the excessive hair became itchy and annoying.
Even though I didn’t do it to feel sexy, I ended up feeling super hot because of it. When I put clean clothes, I enjoyed groping my freshly-shaven testicles. Feeling the smooth skin of my scrotum started instant communication with my hypophysis.
I love my wife’s legs
The second one was the foot massage I gave my wife.
Almost every night, I rub my wife’s feet and legs. She breastfeeds throughout the nights and works full-time in the mornings. At the end of the day, her feet always hurt. They have specific points that beg for rubbing, to relieve themselves from the pain.
I sat on a stool at the side of the bed where her toes were. The moment I laid hands on her ankles, I felt a sudden warmth. Sliding my palms up towards her knees, I experienced a spontaneous combustion.
I wore a t-shirt, so I did not just touch her feet and legs with my palms and fingers. As I moved my hands up and down her legs, the inner sides of my arms caressed her, all the way from the wrist to my armpits. It drove me crazy.
Plus, my shaven parts were rubbing themselves lovingly on the underwear’s soft fabric. It was a killer touch-combo.
I felt dizzy, like a drunk person. I breathed heavily.
I knew that my wife was in a different zone, though. She enjoyed my touch, but only as a pain relief—she was in no sexy mood. I respected that. When I finished the foot massage, I left her in peace.
But I was in flames.
I didn’t go to sleep. I went next door and wrote for about an hour. Then, I went back into the bathtub to polish the previously started shaving job.
You know the rest.
Giving time and care
The moral of the story is that we, men, must reconsider a couple of things about pleasure and sexuality.
Time helps. Care helps. In a sexual context, time and care are conventionally called “foreplay.”
We usually don’t give much time to our masturbation. Our busy day schedule, the need for privacy, and even negative emotions towards it — like guilt and shame — make us do it as quickly as possible.
Also, we rarely see masturbation as a sexual encounter. It’s more of a pill that we have to take, to clear our heads.
In my article I Have a Sex Life, After All — I Just Don’t Share It With Any Body, I describe in detail my approach and inhibitions towards masturbating as a family man.
I also describe the shift that I am working on, towards a more positive approach to masturbation. One that involves giving more time and care to pleasing myself.
It all comes down to foreplay. To treating masturbation as something higher than what we usually treat it as. The joke that says “masturbation is sex with someone you love” is actually deep.
Let’s treat masturbation as sex with someone we love.
We wouldn’t be stingy with our foreplay, during sex with a beloved one, would we?
We can experience wonders if we become generous with our time and practice caring. And what easier way to practice, other than by ourselves?
We must place foreplay in a more prevalent place in our solo sex lives — not to mention our sex lives, in general.
So, yes. We, men, can climax with a shower head, with a feather, with a gust of wind, or with a single thought. For any of that, though, let’s approach masturbation with an open mind and reject our traditional inhibitions and prejudice.
Let’s become better lovers and better people, by first treating ourselves better. This sex positive approach will benefit both us and our partners.
We certainly deserve better than a quick “pill” that takes away the stress, swapping it with guilt and shame.
Don’t you think?
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