I Gave My Boyfriend a Sensual Penis Massage

It was breathtaking and an absolute game-changer for both of us.

Jackie Badilla
Jan 9 · 6 min read
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Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

A few months ago I read Hakima’s article on how to give a penis massage.

This article changed my entire outlook on sex and sensuality. I’d never heard of a penis massage up until that point, and let me tell you, it is worlds away from a hand job.

I had never truly considered embarking on a sexual journey with no intention of one of us orgasming. It wasn’t a totally new concept; my boyfriend and I celebrated the idea that sex doesn’t always have to lead to orgasm to be enjoyable or fulfilling (but it always would for at least one of us).

Hakima wrote about various benefits, none of them orgasm. Of course, he may orgasm during or after the massage, but that isn’t the point of the act itself. A deep connection, intimacy, awareness, and relaxation was what I was after.

My boyfriend and I had been forced into an indefinite long-distance relationship for almost 8 months due to COVID (he lives in Costa Rica and I live in the US). So when we were finally able to reunite, this seemed like the perfect way for us to reconnect and refamiliarize ourselves with each other’s body and physical intimacy.

The day finally came.

We had talked about a penis massage before, so he knew this was coming for some time, but I still wanted it to be somewhat of a surprise.

That day, he had been gone for most of the afternoon. When he was on his way home, I texted him and told him, “No talking allowed (unless you want to stop or don’t like something, then tell me. Consensual is key, people).”

I wanted this experience to be simple and romantic (just the way he likes it), and I wanted us to connect on a deeper level that transcended words, our usual love language. He loves exploring sexual boundaries and nuances with me, so I knew this new, silent dynamic would excite him.

And it did.

When he walked through the door, neither of us said a word. Our eyes locked, and all I could see and feel was overwhelming love for the man standing in front of me. We couldn’t talk, so for the first time, I had to discover how to transfer this intense loving energy to him without words.

I grabbed his hand and lead him to the bedroom. I had set up the space according to the article’s suggestions. Incense was burning on the nightstand (I can’t remember the exact scent, but it had ‘sensual’ in the description). I turned on the smallest table lamp we had in lieu of our candles that I couldn’t seem to find. The bed was neatly made and covered in soft blankets and pillows. And Hakima’s tantric massage background music was softly playing on my phone.

I started undressing him first, piece by piece.

I started with his shirt until all that was left to remove was his socks. I moved slowly, searching for his eyes every time they disappeared behind a piece of clothing.

Then I spread my arms wide and motioned for him to do the same to me. He undressed me with as much love and care as I had ever dreamed a man would, and I didn’t even have to ask!

We went and sat on the bed in front of each other, held hands, and stared into each other’s eyes for a while.

I was in awe of how fluid and trusting my boyfriend during this whole experience. We gazed into each other’s eyes, and without ever saying a word, we remained locked into the other’s soul until the outside world melted around us.

We embraced for a few minutes before he laid down on the bed and we arranged all the blankets and pillows for maximum comfort and relaxation. We had bought a BDSM kit a few weeks before, so I thought this would be the perfect time to make use of the blindfold so he could experience my touch in a different way.

I grabbed the massage oil and began massaging his body first.

I started with his feet, moving to his inner thighs until I eventually reached his neck. I ran my hands down his arms, savoring every inch of his body. I moved slowly with gentle pressure.

I enjoyed this part of the massage so much. With every movement of my hands, I was falling more and more in love with him. My boyfriend is an experienced and devoted meditator, so I could only imagine the state he was in under his blindfold.

Admiring his body and feeling his soft skin as I explored different parts of his body was a privilege and honestly makes me excited just sitting here writing about it.

I eventually started making my way closer and closer to his penis, which had slowly been becoming erect. By the time my hands had reached it, I could feel the pulsations of blood flowing.

I began massaging his penis, following some of the techniques I remembered reading in Hakima’s article and creating some of my own.

I moved my hands up and down, side to side, in circles, putting pressure using different parts of my hands and fingers. The massage lasted about 20 minutes. When I was finished, I climbed on top of him and asked if I could put him inside of me, to which he replied, “yes.”

We stared into each other’s eyes and made love, slowly and sweetly. Neither of us came, but we didn’t care. The connection we were feeling was as profound as any orgasm, if not more powerful. We melted into the bed and each other’s body and stayed there until the background music eventually stopped and brought us back down to earth.

We talked about the experience afterward, and his words affirmed everything I was feeling throughout the whole experience.

He told me that he had never felt that kind of connection with someone before. It was the first time he had ever connected physically with someone that didn’t involve mainstream notions of sex as explicitly penetrative and orgasmically driven.

I was touching his penis, and he was aroused, but he didn’t feel horny or lustful. He was experiencing my hands touching his body with care and attention that had nothing to do with getting him off. He wasn’t waiting for a climax or a slow ascent toward something greater or more powerful because he was in it.

The intimacy and appreciation we were exchanging was the most soothing and intense orgasm of an entirely different breed.

Dare I say, our hearts climaxed?

There’s no universal way to give a penis massage, and everyone’s experience will be different. We haven’t done it again, but I’m excited to try different techniques and experience this practice and each other in different ways.

If you’ve never heard of a penis massage or you’ve been considering it, do it (if and when it feels right). If you’re an enthusiastic penis massager and it’s something that you and your partner enjoy, try different techniques, intentions, and contexts.

If you and your partner have been needing to reconnect or want to explore and expand your connection, have a conversation about how a penis massage may help you achieve it.

If you want to show your man how much you love him, adore him, admire him, appreciate him, if you want to spice things up, if you want to branch out into new sensual territories: penis massage.

I highly recommend it. I could write a novel about that one hour of bliss. I am now a penis massage advocate and its biggest fan.

In fact, if you’ve been considering it or if this story has ignited your curiosity, I beg you, give it a try.


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Thanks to Julia Beaudett

Jackie Badilla

Written by

I write about relationships: with ourselves, with others, and with the planet.


Conversations about sex from all around the world

Jackie Badilla

Written by

I write about relationships: with ourselves, with others, and with the planet.


Conversations about sex from all around the world

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