I’m A Demisexual Former Escort
My sexuality affected my work. And vice versa.
Twenty years ago when I was an escort, I hadn’t ever heard of the term demisexuality. Even if I had, I don’t think I would have applied it to myself.
It’s only in hindsight, when I look at my past sexual experiences, that I can frame my sexuality in that way. But, when I look back at my time as an escort, clearly it figured into the choices I made.
My reflection on this time in my life, when I was a sex worker, raises a number of interesting questions.
- How could I have sexual interactions with men without established intimacy?
- Why did I have sexual interactions with these men?
- Did I enjoy these interactions?
To answer these, I have to interrogate my own sexuality within and outside of sex work.
First of all, what is demisexuality?
For me, demisexuality means being most fulfilled sexually when I have intimacy.
The commonly accepted definition is: “Sexually attracted to people only after a strong emotional bond has been formed.”
Demisexuality is a sexual orientation. It is one-way sexual desire is expressed. It is a fundamental part of my identity.
