Let’s Stop Getting Penetrated and Start Circluding
The power of language in sex and why words matter
A nut screws onto a bolt. A sock envelops a foot. A mouth closes around a piece of pastry.
A womb holds a fetus. A blanket swathes an infant. Warm water engulfs a bather.
A chest contains a treasure. Silk paper enwraps a gift. A coat cloaks its wearer.
A vagina circludes a penis.
Our language is full of examples where the acts of enclosing, enfolding, or surrounding, are active ones. When it comes to sex, on the other hand, these roles are almost exclusively reversed. Here—whether we talk of straight or gay sex, with a penis or a toy—the act of penetration insinuates that the one penetrating is active and the one being penetrated is passive.
The phallus actively fucks; it thrusts, bangs, drills, stabs, screws, plunges, and plows.
The vagina (or mouth, or anus) passively receives.
Why is it like this? Is the act of being on the receiving end of penetration really a passive one? And, is it possible that the language we use to talk about sex (deliberately) disempowers those on the receiving end of penetrative sex?
