Let’s Talk About Sex! Sure, but How and Where Do I Start?
How to get started with vocalizing your sexual needs and desires with your partner(s)
This coming weekend I’ve been invited to give workshops at a queer-friendly, sex-positive retreat in the countryside, and one of the topics I was asked to speak about was how to talk about sex. Perfect, I thought, I talk (and write) about sex all the time. But, as I went back to look at my past articles in preparation, I realized that while I’ve written tons about the importance of communication and talking about sex, I haven’t touched much on how to do it.
Just do it?
It sounds so easy in theory; just gab about it like you would any other topic. It’s only sex, right? Well, it doesn’t always feel that straightforward when you get to it. Suddenly you can’t seem to find the right words, and if or when you finally do, they seem stuck somehow. Sounds familiar? Trust me, I relate!
You may not have guessed, but for the first almost twenty years of my sexually active life, I was terrible at it! In my late teen and early twenties, I was too shy, inexperienced, and simply didn’t know how to, let alone what I actually wanted. In my last long relationship, which was awfully toxic to boot, I eventually stopped bringing up anything…
