Love On Trial
How romantic love is poisoned by myths about exclusivity, possession, jealousy, eternal love, mind reading, and many others
Finding the love of your life — and keeping that love alive — is the most common and valued goal in our modern culture. As measure of success in life, it ranks up there with money, health and fame. But love should be more easily attainable than wealth and fame. It’s something that everybody should get, one way or another. Right?
Of course, I am talking about romantic love here. There are many other kinds of love: for our children, for our parents, for our friends. There are also more abstract forms of love, like the love of God, the love for our country, and the love of virtue and ideals. However, there is something especial about romantic love that makes us obsess about it, whereas the other forms of love are taken for granted, or even as a duty.
Scientific studies emphasize the importance of romantic love by showing that married people tend to be healthier and live longer, while loneliness is a health hazard, especially as we age. This may be true, but it also increases our craving for love, our despair if we have not found it, our grief if we have lost it to abandonment or death. That cannot be healthy, either.
