My First Time Having Swinger Sex

After my partner for the evening left for the bathroom, I silently laid in the bed we’d just shared with a hotel sheet awkwardly tucked between my legs.

I was all too aware of the conflicting emotions flooding in.

After all of our deep conversations about the stifling institution of modern-day monogamy, and the excitement I’d felt leading up to our first official night of swinging, I had never even considered this particular outcome.

I went into our first full-swap experience feeling all sexually woke — ready to party and fulfill the fantasy I cooked up in my head for the past six months.

It never crossed my mind that the reality of swinging would be anything less than the exciting fantasy I imagined.

Our first lifestyle playmates

We met Jen and Jason for dinner and drinks at a restaurant forty minutes from our home, strategically picking a town that no one we knew lived in.

They were everything we were looking for.

For being in the lifestyle, they were fairly vanilla, which made us feel more comfortable with our lack of swinging experience. They were a young full-swap couple, both attractive, and in what appeared to be a stable and healthy marriage.

We were both nervous leading up to our dinner and sex date. But as soon as we started talking we were both immediately comfortable with them. The drinks were flowing and it was nowhere near as awkward as I worried it might be.

The husband even casually placed his hand on my thigh during dinner and told me, “I was a million times more than he’d expected me to be.”

The swinging stage had been set.

Swinger sex is not necessarily good sex

We went into the date hopeful our swinging experience would fulfill some of our steamy sexual fantasies.

I imagined us meeting a super sexy couple for drinks and things would slowly evolve into a blow-your-mind full-swap experience, followed by high fives and plans to meet again.

Unfortunately, we quickly learned that even if a swinger date goes better than expected, that chemistry will not necessarily follow you into the bedroom.

My first non-monogamous sexual experience was overwhelmingly underwhelming. Much like our eyes are often hungrier than our stomachs, my fantasy was much more thrilling than the actual experience.

My first non-monogamous sexual experience was overwhelmingly underwhelming.

My swinger fantasy definitely included an orgasm for both me and my husband, neither of which were achieved this particular night. It wasn’t for a lack of trying either, we clearly tried hard enough to get our partners off.

The sex just wasn’t as good as we were used to having at home.

We were prepared to trade in our comfort for the thrill of a new partner, but we weren’t anticipating partners that weren’t very good at the whole sex part of the swinging experience.

The grass isn’t always greener with swinging

I realized my error almost immediately.

They were experienced in the swinging lifestyle and we assumed that meant something. Plus, I hadn’t felt another man inside of me in well over a decade, and imagining that felt deliciously naughty.

Thinking about it made me wet, but experiencing it had me drier than the Sahara Desert.

We made so many assumptions about how the swinging experience would go. We had it all planned out, but we hadn’t planned for the reality of the actual “p-in-v” experience to be a total letdown.

It was a perfect example of ‘the grass isn’t always greener’ but in this case, it was the ‘sex isn’t always better.’

Our fatal mistake was comparing the swinger sex we were having to the sex we had at home with each other. Swinger sex will never be like the sex we have at home, and that’s the beauty of it.