When I’m in the middle of a slutty sexting session nothing irks me more than when a man asks, “What are you wearing?”
Most times I’ll lie because chances are I’m wearing fluffy pajamas and a robe, or sometimes it’s even as unsexy as sweatpants. I don’t get dolled up for sexting, and that’s the beauty in it. We don’t have to get dressed up to get hot and heavy into sexting.
If it appears as though the session is heading towards photos or video I can quickly run to my dresser and pick out something sexy if I want to. He’ll never know the difference and besides, if he’s receiving a crotch shot, why should it matter which pajama pants are around my ankles?
Sometimes I don’t have to lie because certain men I associate with think women in sweatpants are sexy. I love those men.
The same thing goes in real life for me. I’m just about as low frill as a woman can be. Pretty much anything we wear won’t be as sexy as we are when completely naked. And if we’re doing it right, anything adorning our bodies will just end up torn off and thrown into a corner anyway.
Let’s just eliminate the middle man, shall we? I don’t need anything restrictive that will tack another 1.8 seconds onto the time it takes before I get down and dirty.
A clear testament to the tribulations of trying to appear sexy can be read in this piece by Gwenna Laithland. Nobody should end up in a position like this while trying to getting laid. Sorry Gwenna, I’m still laughing over it, and you’re the greatest hero of all time for this.
UnSexy: How Spicing Up My Sex Life Cost Me a Tooth
A true story that proves sex isn’t always sexy
Being low-frill has never inhibited my ability to get laid. When two people want to get nasty they’re going to do it regardless of what type of clothing is involved. A man can hike up a dress or hike down pants easier than he can remove a complicated piece of lingerie.
I mean, sex can happen in plain old work clothes in the back seat of a car if you want it bad enough. Then the clothing gets stepped on by dirty shoes in a sexual frenzy, so why would I want a fancy piece of lingerie mixed up in that mess?
I’d much rather trample my work clothes than a pretty bra. At least it would give me the added pleasure of emphasizing what I really think of work.
If a man is horny and wants sex the least of his concerns are your lingerie.
Case in point: During one of my recent sexting sessions he asked me to send him a shot of what I had on. I warned him that it wasn’t sexy at all but he told me to send it anyway. I was wearing my standard late night getup — fluffy pajama bottoms and a thick, white bathrobe wrapped around me. It’s winter.
His reply? “I won’t lie, I’d totally fuck you in that.”
Just as I suspected. He’s also the guy who totally ripped off my work clothes in the back of a car.
I feel the same way about sex toys. I know they’re a personal preference for many women and I’ve tried plenty of them but they just don’t do the trick for me. I want a body and a real, live dick.
I dated a guy a few years ago who bought me a big, black, studded vibrator. He gave it to me because he lived out of town and wanted me to have something to pleasure myself with when he wasn’t around.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him it wouldn’t work for me while I was alone. I’ve tried all the things in my journey to becoming a nympho, and there’s nothing sexy about plunging a vibrating piece of plastic inside myself.
First of all, I rarely get off on penetration alone unless it’s coming from a hot, thrusting man. Second of all, there’s no eroticism involved in doing it myself. I need a mind fuck, not just a body fuck.
If I need to cum when I’m all alone, I already know how to do it. No plastic dick required.
However, that black studded stallion did come in handy when my man was around. I always desire being sucked and fucked at the same time. That’s the ultimate overload of stimulation, one that only a vibrator and a man can simultaneously give.
While I don’t have a secret trunk full of sex toys and a drawer full of hot lingerie, I do have incredible sex. No props in the world can give me what I ultimately crave — erotic, dirty, nasty, gentle, rough, licking, biting, penetrative, spontaneous, and sexy sex.
The only prop required to achieve that kind of sex is a like-minded man who excels in his craft.
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