On Tasting and Swallowing Semen
Of others or your own
Deborah: Dan, I love the taste of come. It tastes like everything… good… just… coming out of your cock… the Junior Prom… an autumn afternoon…
Danny: It doesn’t taste a little bit like Chlorox?
Deborah: It smells like Chlorox. It tastes like the Junior Prom.
—Sexual Perversity in Chicago by David Mamet
The taste of it
I just read Joe Duncan’s juicy essay An Uncomfortable Conversation About Swallowing and, throughout the reading, I couldn’t wipe a grin off my face.
It’s not that I find swallowing semen funny. Put accidental semen consumption in a comedy and you get the definition of gross. (Yes, Farrelly brothers, I’m talking to you.)
I find even less funny the fact that, as Joe says:
[…] we’ve created a culture that implies that women must do this act no matter how much they hate it — or else… or else they face the consequences… [They] are told they’re not good if they don’t swallow, they’re told they aren’t as hot or are less attractive […]
As a matter of fact, I agree with everything in his essay.
Except one thing: Joe fully condemns the taste of semen.
He calls it “a thick glob of goop,” says it’s “more like curdled milk than a savory smoothie,” “thick, gooey, and salty,” and it tastes “like a donkey’s ass.” All very hilariously inventive terms — his eloquent language is one of the reasons I enjoy reading his stuff.
But I disagree.
Please note that I am not taking the side of anyone who tries to convince a woman to consume his sperm.
It is porn that has planted the idea that our partners are supposed to swallow and I hate the way porn depicts oral sex, anyway.
Joe insists that no woman likes swallowing. I am sure that there are many women who don’t like swallowing or even putting the sticky thing in their mouths. I can’t be sure that no woman enjoys it, though, in the heat of the moment — and I mean her heat, not his.
For whom it may concern, I’m fine with that. It’s not even my business to be fine with it or not. If someone doesn’t like a sexual act or the fluids it produces, I am in no position to impose it on them, neither do I want to.
Still, I believe that sperm tastes nice.
I am saying it because I have tasted my own — and liked it.
And I didn’t just taste it. I swallowed the whole load. More than once, actually.
How and why I tasted mine
The first time I tasted my own semen was an accident. I was lying on my back, masturbating with my head propped up on a pillow and, upon climax, my penis fired straight onto my mouth and chin. As my lips where ajar, some of it landed inside.
I am usually not a jizz sniper, so it was a surprise that it even reached that far.
Another surprise was that I enjoyed the experience. It was warm and slightly salty. Although completely new, it felt cosy and familiar.
Years after that, the second time, I deliberately licked my palm dry after masturbating in it, swallowing the semen. It was an act of exploration, as well as naive solidarity to all the women who have tasted or drunk my semen. Since somebody did it, I had to know what they experienced.
Yes, it was an action completely protected by male privilege — hence the naiveté. Contrary to what many women out there experience, there was no pressure on me to do such a thing.
Some may even interpret my action as emotional manipulation: “look at the lengths you go to, to convince women to do it. You drink your own sperm, so that you can use this experience as ammunition against any woman’s refusal to oblige. If anybody asks you ‘Would you do it?’ you’d be able to triumphantly reply ‘I already have.’”
Please believe me when I say I didn’t do it to prove or persuade anybody to do anything.
Knowing that others have done it, I only wanted to have the same knowledge, of how my sperm tastes and how I feel when I swallow it. It was the same drive that motivated Meaghan Ward to taste her own juices, as narrated in Yes, I Know How My Pussy Tastes. It was an exploration.
But then, I discovered that I liked the taste.
It also felt comforting knowing that the women who have tasted it didn’t have the same experience as feltching out of some donkey’s ass.
I didn’t fancy eating it from my hand, though. I flirted with the idea of getting it immediately from the source.
Unfortunately, I can’t suck my own dick. Or perhaps fortunately, because otherwise I wouldn’t get any work done. What I can do, though, is raise my pelvis and prop my body in a way that my penis gets over my head — a position close to the candle yoga pose.
A few times, while masturbating in the bathroom, as I approached my orgasm, I’ve taken this position and hoped for the best.
It works.
I wouldn’t casually sip it out of a martini glass
So, I’ve drunk my warm semen straight from the source and I would definitely do it again.
Why? Because it made me feel sexy and closer to myself. The whole ritual was part of a series of exploratory masturbation sessions that aimed at achieving a deeper connection with my sexuality. Drinking my own semen referenced some archetypal admiration towards the human body and its reproductive functions and it even summoned some malnourished homosexual or feminine side of mine. It felt good accepting all those conflicting parts of myself.
Having said all that, the erotic context of it all was essential. I loved the taste of my semen, but I wouldn’t casually drink it out of a glass instead of orange juice in the morning. I wouldn’t add it to my cereal and I would certainly not keep it in the fridge for later consumption.
It’s all in the heat of the moment.
See what I did? I first made a bold statement that I love the taste of my semen, then declared myself as an unreliable narrator.
But it’s true. I have only tasted my sperm in the heat of the moment, so I cannot testify for its actual taste. Perhaps Joe is right. Perhaps it does taste horrible if drunk out of context.
Within the erotic context, though, it tastes like a love potion.
The same applies to vaginal juices. I wouldn’t go looking for them per se, but when my mouth is latched on a vulva, I will slurp them like there’s no tomorrow.
Similar logic applies to sweat, tears, saliva, and anything else that I may feel like licking off from my partner’s body or face. It’s either straight from the source or not at all.
(Except breast milk. Because it’s milk. It’s supposed to be consumed even after being stored, frozen, and thawed.)
Is it okay to ask?
Can you ask someone to swallow your sperm?
Asking politely is always the right, acceptable, and considerate way to initiate anything — during sex or elsewhere. Swallowing, fellatio, sex, dating — they only happen with the consent of the partner.
Careful, though: asking politely shouldn’t be a demand in disguise. Regardless of your politeness, you must be ready for the event of getting rejected. You have to genuinely be okay with that.
If you aren’t okay with rejection, you need to do serious inner work. You must rise to the challenge of having relationships with other human beings.
Otherwise, your polite asking is a passive-aggressive form of forcing yourself upon the other — aka rape. Begging for consent is a variation of this.
Remember, people. Just because someone chooses to have sex with you, it doesn’t mean that they green-light all sexual activity by default: fellatio? Check. Swallowing? Check. Anal? Check.
Even if you ask politely and mean it, there is also another problem: societal pressure. Joe Duncan refers to that in the quote I used at the start of this essay:
[…] we’ve created a culture that implies that women must do this act no matter how much they hate it…
When the other party is pressured to agree to do something, asking for that something triggers the problem. That’s where the whole concept of “enthusiastic consent” comes it — but still, can we be sure?
Women suffer and put themselves in uncomfortable, dangerous, or violent positions, because they don’t want to hurt their male partners’ ego. They will exhaust every option before admitting they don’t like something imposed on them.
It’s called patriarchy for a reason. Paraphrasing Joe, we’ve created a culture that implies that, in any case, the male ego is the most important factor.
As I fleetingly mentioned further up, even tasting your own sperm can be a manipulative action in the hands of toxic males. Emma Austin says in her article Should You Taste Yourself?:
Now, I think [tasting your own sperm] is a valiant move. If you want to see what it’s like for yourself before asking someone to do it for you, that gives you a good sense of what you’re really asking for. […] Unfortunately, I’ve also seen the dark side of this: guys who say that they’ve tasted it and it’s no big deal so ladies have no grounds to decline doing the same.
Therefore, although asking is the key, the asking itself must be done in a way that obliges no one. For sure, asking shouldn’t initiate eristic argumentation — especially not one based on arguments about proteins and other nutrients.
Again, Mr. Duncan rips those arguments to shreds. I can only add:
Source of protein? Are you guys idiots?!?
Deborah: It smells like Chlorox. It tastes like the Junior Prom.
Is this a good thing? It depends if the Junior Prom was a good experience for you.
I’ve seen some prom… sorry: some porn clips where the woman collects several performers’ sperm in her mouth, shows her mouthful to the camera, gargles, blows some bubbles, and then makes the blob disappear down her oesophagus. She then shows us her empty mouth, like a magician reaching the prestige of her trick.
I don’t find any of that sexy. Some people must do — since this porn has its niche — but I’m not one of them. When a woman goes down on me, I don’t find swallowing more sexy, more complete, or more — in any way — appropriate than spitting or pulling away.
I really have no preference in what a woman does with my fountain of life. I leave it up to them, to enjoy or ignore.
Some women have spat, some have swallowed, some haven’t even approached it.
Let me say it again: this article is in no way a suggestion that any woman, homosexual man, or any person be supposed or obliged to drink their lovers’ sperm. I am only describing my experience with tasting myself and the feelings it provoked.
And it feels good knowing that my sperm tastes good — at least to the opinion of one individual.
If this story got your juices flowing, you may also try:
